65 Christmas's

I have not experienced 65 Christmas's Without having learned a few survival techniques, And picking up a few handy tips for avoiding stress, So as to make hay during the silly season. First rule if you aim to get through in one piece, With no stains on your character or on your shirt, A bolt hole is a must, A place where you cannot be found for a minimum of half an hour, Preferably with storage for emergency drinks and treats. 2nd rule, Know how to get lost in a crowd, If you can't avoid shopping trips, And avoid anything in kit set form, Unless your IQ is below average, In which case you will completely understand, The assembly instructions. 3rd Rule and this is the hard one, Don't get drunk before the big day, As this is a time for being alert, Listening to instructions from your better half, And interpreting hand signals in the presence of children. A final word of wisdom, Trust the little voice inside you, That tells you when your eyes and your stomach are in correct alignment, And forget at your own peril that this is not the season for scoring points, Off in-laws.