3am
I wake again, with my heart pounding and my mind spinning
Taking a deep breath to calm my body and mind,
I look at the clock
It is 3 am
This keeps happening since I heard the words
“I’m sorry, there was nothing more we could do”
When a family member was gone in the blink of an eye
Why does this feeling always come back at 3am?
Why does my mind always spin with all I need to get accomplished
Worry creeps in for my family members who are also struggling
My body aches from illness that always seems to happen when I am most busy
My body craves rest when my mind will not, so I get up at 3am
It takes a moment, but I remember that I am not alone,
That I have someone to talk to who knows what I am going through
So, in the darkness when everyone else is sleeping,
I cry out to Jesus, at 3am
Feeling better and more able to handle my life at the moment,
I hope that there is a day that my body and mind can rest an entire night again
But today, I make my to do list and begin my day
At 3 am
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