16 Ways I Tried To Kill the Sadness
1.I laid face down in a pillow, in hopes I would suffocate and stop breathing, and the sadness would just disappear.
2.I stayed up all night, maybe if i was sleep deprived the lack of sleep would turn me crazy and the crazy would run out sadness.
3.I smoked cigarettes, one after another believing the burn would somehow burn the sadness away.
4.I turned to anger believing hitting and calling names would satisfy the sadness monster.
5.I drank, drink after drink until i got sick, maybe the liquor would take the sadness away.
6.I self harmed, slicing my skin hoping i could cut the sadness out.
7.I ran away thinking I could run away from the sadness.
8.I faced death, Pills and blades. I faced it knowing if i died it all would go away.
9.I took showers, maybe the heat and steam would trigger another emotion, anything is better than sadness.
10.I depended on happy people, maybe sadness would want a new victim instead of one who is completely damaged.
11.I was silent, maybe if i kept to myself sadness wouldn’t get the attention.
12.I put all the pain i could upon myself, it was better to feel pain than being sad all the time.
13.I drowned myself in music, but in the end it left me feeling worse.
14.I put a pen in my hand and tried to turn the sadness into happy words. But it ended up being the same, damn, thing, over and over again.
15.I tried disguising myself and changing who i was, but that never helps the eternal pain.
16.I tried being happy, but happiness doesn’t come around very much. Sadness will always be there. I’ve learned you cannot kill sadness, But i still try in hopes that one day maybe I could.
Copyright © Jillian Conway | Year Posted 2014
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