Davin Payne Poet Free verse

10 Years

disheartened array of melancholy verbiage
 I didn't have enough details to cover ground
so I stayed ignorant of my internal complications
exploding with tears and sounds I've never 
made before you were found
lacking apparent decency to mourn a soul proper
I refused to take any absolutes' offer
that psychic that lied meant little, much less
than the countless times people asked me
Where is she?
The biggest achievement of my life
unawares to those who've never wore my shoes
I am grateful I've made it through,
 and hope those who have yet to suffer such as I
will find blessings at the end of such journeys
What a long road
I can see further in one direction in than the other
but I know, this road is only as long as two points.
Pack my suitcase and leave at the door
I won't be needing that, to walk the streets
Medicine wore off and I had to find a new meaning to my memories
living off of instinct 
What is it like to have no sense of truth from the
writhing of delusion snaking in and out of solid
turning your past into a guessing game?
How many people live in here?
This would redefine the way of living.
I am just a bystander, but oh so intimate
It hurts me to see 
Where can I find a relief? 
All logic and reasoning tell the tale of predictability
She the most stable she is ever been in her life
Yelling at a social worker about being hearing impaired
after the lady was just trying to point out she doesn't seem it
and she was eligible for arts and crafts
Worries, anxiety, mistrust
paranoia, grandiose theories and destructive habits
Inspires me of my own
no one is invincible
Tattoo that on my face and I still will cry guilt
face pain to the point where I only have my love
nothing else matters as much as having her 
in my life again
after 10 years

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