| Lyrics |
Adam: We were doing Mok 1 in the Ookla-mobile
Luis: And Rand was at the wheel
Rand: With gear and clothes and Adam crammed against the windshield
A: We were gonna filk until the break of dawn
L: We're going to the con
R: Luis Tomas Garcia had his Sandman T-shirt on
A: Rand was driving I was playing my guitar
L: And I was in the car
R: And then we stopped
A: And that's when Rand said,R: "I don't know where we are"A: I was trying to get the map unfolded when I heard a sound
L: I looked around
R: And then I noticed that the car was lifted off the ground
All: What was going on how were we floating through the air?
All: Maybe it has to do with that flying saucer over there?A: Hold on this might not be as bad as it seems
L: What do you mean?R: We'll miss the con!L: What are you on?R: We're in a tractor beam!R: Luis looked down and marvelled at the endless rows of corn
L: "
That's a lot of corn!"A: And Rand beaped out the rhythm the theme of Close Encounters on the horn
R: Adam was trying to teach his fingers what to do
L: "
Na noo! Na noo!"A: As we docked aboard what appeared to be an interstellar zoo
R: I turned the car off and we timidly disembarked
L: "
We're double parked!"A: Gaping bewilderedly around this cosmic Noah's Ark
R: And that's when Adam walked away without a glance
L: I peed my pants
A: I couldn't help it I was in some kind of weird hypnotic trance
A: I woke up in a room with candles lit and muzak on
A: I was lying on a bed with nothing but my tube socks on
A: I saw a shapely silhouette in the door
L: She was a ten!R: An alien!A: I was stiffer than Al Gore
A: We didn't have a common culture or a common tongue
A: We didn't have a thing in common as I've already sung
A: We didn't have an ounce of mutual respect
All: But we had sex
All: We had sex
All: Sex
All: We had sex
R: And then a hooded stranger took me by the hand
L: "
Don't leave me Rand!"A: But Rand just followed knowing that Luis would understand
R: She asked me if I wanted latte or Darjeeling tea
L: "I'm thirsty!"A: They quickly saw they had compatible personalities
R: We had the same opinions we shared the same philosophy
R: We had the same Snoopy lunchbox we watched the same shows on TVR: We both liked movies with cheap special effects
A
&L: But we did not have sex
R: ("
She said she just wanted to stay friends")A
&L: We did not have sex
R: ("
She said she'd write me but she never did")A
&L: No sex
R: ("
She gave me her phone number but when I called it it was a laundromat")A
&L: We did not have sex
A: With Rand and Adam gone Luis was all alone
L: "E.T. phone home!"R: He was in the dark and all he could hear was Adam moan
A: Things were looking grim for the drummer of Ookla the Mok
L: "
Help me Spock!"R" Next thing he knew Luis was on all fours stripped to his jock
L: I was more scared than I had ever been in all my life
L: I didn't want to spend the next forty years as E.T.'s wife
A: Well maybe this isn't quite as bad as it seems...L: At least yours was a female!A
&R: And they had sex
L: ("
Mine was a huge purple guy")A
&R: They had sex
L: ("
And he had this huge, long... ANTENNAE")A
&R: Sex
L: ("
And these bulging, humongous... EARS")A
&R: They had sex
L: ("
It was horrible... I'm never doing that again!")A: It ended just as quickly as it had begun
L: You mean YOU'RE done
R: It was more confusing than the ending of 2001A: I had a good time
R: And I gained a friend
L: It was a bad joke but I got it in the end
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