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The Ballad of Jeremiah Macabenta
The King hosted a feast, as it was his custom, to once a year, feed the least blessed in his kingdom. So the ragged came in flocks and in the courtyard gathered, hushed in anticipation of, finally, a warm supper. All the King's men guided them, so it will be orderly along dozen long tables arranged conformingly. The guests then sat, food was served, each with equal servings; a plate of veggies, a cut of meat, rice and corn soup steaming. Among those who supped was Jeremiah Macabenta, perhaps the most haughty glutton of the millennia. His infamy was that, amongst vagrants, he could eat in one meal what normally three men took. Though he was looked upon as comically fat, his life as a rat was tragically sad. —having no means of living at that— so to the King's dinner, an invitation, he got. Back to the feast, after servings were done, Jeremiah called for one of the servers to come; He said, 'Look at my plate, of meat, it has none. Only veggies, rice and soup! ' So the server gave him one. Just then a cat with fur shiny and black —which, according to myth, is the cause of bad luck— suddenly jumped onto an eating lady's lap, who then shoo'ed it away; to the table it leapt back. Landing in chaos upon Jeremiah's place, exposing two pieces of meat he hid under his plate; caught red-handed, he'd only sheepishly grin, while the King's witnessed this, much to his chagrin. The King then ordered Jeremiah banished from the tables, of controlling his anger, he was barely able; shocked that this tramp would abuse his charity, when he most wanted to treat his guests equally. Now this is where it's not clearly distinguished what truly transpired from only just gossip; for it was manifested that Jeremiah was punished, but the story that spread was incredibly horrid It was said that Jeremiah was chained onto a rock and into his mouth, food was endlessly stuffed, till he choked and gasped and breathed his last air, while bits and morsels trickled down his nose and ear. (And to confound the story of Jeremiah's end, after the feast, he was never heard from again.) Perhaps the moral is this: we should never take advantage should the kindness that is shared to us we acknowledge, lest we fall into the pit of Jeremiah's plight —in gluttony he lived, in gluttony he died.
Copyright © 2025 Robert Uy. All Rights Reserved

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