Punchline
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Husband died in the accident
Daughter too, me myself and I
Are all that's left blood fused
Starter cap with ego, a caplock P-O-S
Locked up for manslaughter for causing the wreckage
Used to be very skiddish, learned tellin' on myself is snitchin'
Lunchtime wasn't heaven was it, not till I hit back
Became a quiet enforcer followin' the headless
Once was a Stan, but we all start that way
I used to just write stories and hide away
Come at a face smilin' who talked sideways
Got out and started macabre last January
By February I had been told it was a man's game
Well anyone that knows me, knows I'm collectin' agency
But a railroad of hate was made
Next to this were the false religions
Lost in mistranslation to English
Muffins for the cherry pickin'
Two groups immediately for language
And my genitalia, add in I was shitball, hallelujah
Problem solves itself, grief churnin' the spells
Curses deliberately cast in the mirror
I'm completely aware how I lands here
Sleep most my nights with a pistol to temple
Can't pull the trigger, I wish I could/would/should
Then Shay-oot spoke cuttin' the asphalt
"We'll write poetry and then it'll make sense"
Pandora has been with me ever since then
Not tough or dangerous or anything
People don't realize that they are facin' her
Not me, she likes competition, doesn't do what I say
She writes through me in the liminal space
In-between the seamstress
Hunting Solivagant for Sukha while she writes
I'm not okay, but no one cares, so I stopped giving a shit
Thirteen months later I tricked my brain into believing it
The part I find fascinatin' is my hand, attitude, all unique
People call me fake, what are the perks, non-fini
So I quit everything but this right here, till I fade
I only trust me and became a one person army
A-K-A Juggernaughty, and that's how babies are made
I breathe in the reek of depravity
My spider senses tingling like a heroin high
Splatterdash obscenity and beauty
A dreadnought vice piercing the veil of civility
My beat's rhythm a bleak litany in want and spite
That Citizen Jane of Madness reporting live from the frontlines
Mayan on the times, darkness and light - Yin and Yang balance Ikigai
I still have dark days - holidays mostly
Used to care about life, now I long to die
Just to see the sparkle in my little girl's eyes
We all are performing our last scenes
The rest are in denial - I'm a product of my environment
Modernland - isn't she spectacular
Yeah, with a Xanax, and I hate pills
My only medicine is the pen
I write words that don't matter to anyone
Is what it is - author isn't dead, yet
We all have dreams I suppose
At the end of this run, I know mine will be fulfilled
Back to this fuckin' show - the projector reels roll
Death is beautiful - I paint what I know - Makabré
Not much of a rapper, I prefer heavy-metal
Button eyes are the flashback of my cherub's
Wide as Iku pulled them tight
Surrender to the tunnel
That cheap fluorescent bulb humming over a stained motel toilet
Fuck the light
I burrow into the shadows
Darker than the devil, he needs fire to see
Burning time till that sweet release
Horrifyingly real and that isn't going to change
Fuck societal sensitivities
Shake this matchbox till I hit the grave
Hate will only make me great
And motherfuckers HATE me
All I hear is killing it, bébé
I enjoy the camaraderie but... just saying
Know what you dine with
I'm not your average bear
Crimson porridge, shaken not stirred
Smooth as whiskey with no chaser
Wish it could be different, but that's wishful thinking
Me, myself, and I became an us
Loneliness is my confidante
Only takes one wrong swing
Then the punching never stops
Till you do
Hope you enjoyed my origin story
Long but... every detail was crucial
Rawhide against their ostracize
I don't right rhymes
I write abattoirs
Silence always follows
I'm forever thankful for my community
(For 'high' critique)
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