Famous Ouse Poems by Famous Poets

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...one by one, 
And all of them seemed to keep rabbits 
Pa had no green ends left when they'd done.

When he got home the 'ouse were in dark ness,
So he slipped in as sly as a fox, 
Laid the 'sparagus on kitchen table 
And crept up to bed in his socks.

He got in without waking Mother, 
A truly remarkable feat,
And pictured her telling the neighbours 
As 'twere 'sparagus-what the toffs eat.

But when he woke up in the morning 
It were nigh on a quarter to ten,
There were no sign...Read more of this...

...
And when t' Chinamen came round next evening
They found he were building a wall.

"That won't keep us out of your 'en 'ouse"
Said one, with a smug kind of grin; 
It's not for that purpose," said Balbus, 
"When it's done, it will keep you lot in."

The Chinamen all burst out laffing, 
They thowt as he'd gone proper daft
But Balbus got on wi' his building
And said "He laffed last who last laffed."

Day by day Balbus stuck to his building, 
And his efforts he never did cease
Ti...Read more of this...

...more 'orrid than that."

So Misses goes off togged up tasty, and there at the 'ospittel door
They tells 'er to see the 'ouse Doctor, 'oose office is Room Thirty-four.
So she 'unts up and down till she finds it, and knocks and a voice says: "Come in,"
And there is a 'andsome young feller, in white from 'is 'eels to 'is chin.
"I've got a big boil," says my Missis. "It 'urts me for fair when I sit,
And Sam (that's me 'usband) 'as asked me to ask you to coot it a bit."
Then blush...Read more of this...

...the chink,
 An' you're sure to touch the --
(Chorus) Loo! loo! Lulu! Loot! loot! loot!
 Ow the loot! . . .

When from 'ouse to 'ouse you're 'unting, you must always work in pairs --
 It 'alves the gain, but safer you will find --
For a single man gets bottled on them twisty-wisty stairs,
 An' a woman comes and clobs 'im from be'ind.
When you've turned 'em inside out, an' it seems beyond a doubt
 As if there weren't enough to dust a flute
 (Cornet: Toot! toot!) --
Before you ...Read more of this...

...olding such intimacy with the sea,
Many do that, but my delighted muse
Says, Neptune's fairest daughter is the Little Ouse....Read more of this...

...er's moor sense i' one o' 'is legs, nor in all thy braaïns.
Woä--theer's a craw to pluck wi' tha, Sam; yon 's parson's 'ouse--
Dosn't thou knaw that a man mun be eäther a man or a mouse?
Time to think on it then; for thou'll be twenty to weeäk.
Proputty, proputty--woä then, woä--let ma 'ear mysén speäk.
Me an' thy muther, Sammy, 'as been a'talkin' o' thee;
Thou's beän talkin' to muther, an' she beän a tellin' it me.
Thou'll not marry for munny--thou's sweet upo' parson's lass...Read more of this...

...She'd bandage the wounds in his sconce, 
And every time a snake bit him 
She'd suck out the poison at once. 

In their 'ouse they'd a minstrel called Blondel 
To amuse them at t'end of the day' 
And the King had but one thing against him...
He had nobbut one tune he could play. 

The Queen saw nowt wrong with the number 
And would have it again and again, 
And when Richard said: "Put a sock in it!" 
She'd give 'im a look full of pain. 

The King got fed up at the finish, 
And...Read more of this...

...own'd, 
And Avon's fame to Albion's cliffs is rais'd; 
Carlegion Chester vaunts her holy Dee, 
York many wonders of her Ouse can tell, 
The Peak her Dove, whose banks so fertile be, 
And Kent will say her Medway doth excell; 
Cotswold commends her Isis to the Thame, 
Our Northern borders boast of Tweed's fair flood, 
Our Western parts extol their Wylye's fame, 
And the old Lea brags of the Danish blood. 
Arden's sweet Anker, let thy glory be, 
That fair Idea only lives by the...Read more of this...

...e hold
 No more than Sussex weed;
Or south where windy Piddinghoe's
 Begilded dolphin veers,
And red beside wide-banked Ouse
 Lie down our Sussex steers.

So to the land our hearts we give
 Til the sure magic strike,
And Memory, Use, and Love make live
 Us and our fields alike --
That deeper than our speech and thought,
 Beyond our reason's sway,
Clay of the pit whence we were wrought
 Yearns to its fellow-clay.

God gives all men all earth to love,
 But, since man's heart is...Read more of this...

...fore we moved to the Clyde.
And the Lines were all beginning, and we all of us started fair,
Building our engines like houses and staying the boilers square.
But M'Cullough 'e wanted cabins with marble and maple and all,
And Brussels an' Utrecht velvet, and baths and a Social Hall,
And pipes for closets all over, and cutting the frames too light,
But M'Cullough he died in the Sixties, and ---- Well, I'm dying to-night...
I knew -- I knew what was coming, when we bid on the By...Read more of this...

...ewell to the shade
And the whispering sound of the cool colonnade:
The winds play no longer and sing in the leaves,
Nor Ouse on his bosom their image receives.

Twelve years have elapsed since I first took a view
Of my favourite field, and the bank where they grew,
And now in the grass behold they are laid,
And the tree is my seat that once lent me a shade.

The blackbird has fled to another retreat
Where the hazels afford him a screen from the heat;
And the scene where his m...Read more of this...

...slow moving, and beside
His lab'ring team, that swerv'd not from the track,
The sturdy swain diminish'd to a boy!
Here Ouse, slow winding through a level plain
Of spacious meads with cattle sprinkled o'er,
Conducts the eye along its sinuous course
Delighted. There, fast rooted in his bank,
Stand, never overlook'd, our fav'rite elms,
That screen the herdsman's solitary hut;
While far beyond, and overthwart the stream
That, as with molten glass, inlays the vale,
The sloping la...Read more of this...

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