Best Famous Waterhole Poems

Here is a collection of the all-time best famous Waterhole poems. This is a select list of the best famous Waterhole poetry. Reading, writing, and enjoying famous Waterhole poetry (as well as classical and contemporary poems) is a great past time. These top poems are the best examples of waterhole poems.

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Written by Andrew Barton Paterson | Create an image from this poem

The Wreck of the Golfer

 It was the Bondi golfing man 
Drove off from the golf house tee, 
And he had taken his little daughter 
To bear him company. 
"Oh, Father, why do you swing the club 
And flourish it such a lot?" 
"You watch it fly o'er the fences high!" 
And he tried with a brassey shot. 

"Oh, Father, why did you hit the fence 
Just there where the brambles twine?" 
And the father he answered never a word, 
But he got on the green in nine. 

"Oh, Father, hark from behind those trees, 
What dismal yells arrive!" 
"'Tis a man I ween on the second green, 
And I've landed him with my drive." 

"Oh, Father, why does the poor Chinee 
Fall down on his knees and cry?" 
"He taketh me for his Excellency, 
And he thinks once hit twice shy." 

So on they fared to the waterhole, 
And he drove with a lot of dash, 
But his balls full soon in the dread lagoon 
Fell down with a woeful splash. 

"Oh, Father, why do you beat the sand 
Till it flies like the carded wool?" 
And the father he answered never a word, 
For his heart was much too full. 

"Oh, Father, why are they shouting 'fore' 
And screaming so lustily?" 
But the father he answered never a word, 
A pallid corpse was he. 

For a well-swung drive on the back of his head 
Had landed and laid him low. 
Lord save us all from a fate like this 
When next to the links we go.

Written by Andrew Barton Paterson | Create an image from this poem

That Half-Crown Sweep

 The run of Billabong-go-dry 
Is just beyond Lime Burner's Gap; 
Its waterhole and tank supply 
Is excellent -- upon the map. 
But lacking nature's liquid drench, 
The station staff are wont to try 
With "Bob-in Sweeps" their thirst to quench, 
Or nearly quench, at Bong-go-dry. 
The parson made five-yearly rounds 
That soil of arid souls to delve, 
He wrote, "I'll come for seven pounds, 
Or I could stop away for twelve." 
But lack of lucre brought about 
The pusillanimous reply: 
"Our luxuries are all cut out, 
You'll have to go to Bong-go-dry." 

Now rabbit skins were very high -- 
There'd been a kind of rabbit rush -- 
And what with traps and sticks they'd shy, 
The station blacks were very flush, 
And each was taught his churchman's job, 
"When that one parson's plate comes roun' 
No good you put in sprat or bob, 
Too quick you put in harp-a-crown." 

The parson's word was duly kept, 
He came and did his bit of speak; 
The boss remarked he hadn't slept 
So sound and well for many a week. 
But Gilgai Jack and Monkey Jaw 
Regarded preaching as a crime 
Against good taste; they said, "What for 
That one chap yabber all the time?" 

Proceedings ceased: the boss's hat 
Was raked from underneath his chair; 
The coloured congregation sat 
And waited with expectant air. 
At last from one far-distant seat 
Where Gilgai's Mary'd been asleep, 
There came a kind of plaintive bleat, 
"Say, boss! Who won the harp-crown sweep?"
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