Best Famous Saft Poems

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Written by Robert Burns | Create an image from this poem

68. The Holy Fair

 UPON 1 a simmer Sunday morn
 When Nature’s face is fair,
I walked forth to view the corn,
 An’ snuff the caller air.
The rising sun owre Galston muirs
 Wi’ glorious light was glintin;
The hares were hirplin down the furrs,
 The lav’rocks they were chantin
 Fu’ sweet that day.


As lightsomely I glowr’d abroad,
 To see a scene sae gay,
Three hizzies, early at the road,
 Cam skelpin up the way.
Twa had manteeles o” dolefu’ black,
 But ane wi’ lyart lining;
The third, that gaed a wee a-back,
 Was in the fashion shining
 Fu’ gay that day.


The twa appear’d like sisters twin,
 In feature, form, an’ claes;
Their visage wither’d, lang an’ thin,
 An’ sour as only slaes:
The third cam up, hap-stap-an’-lowp,
 As light as ony lambie,
An’ wi’a curchie low did stoop,
 As soon as e’er she saw me,
 Fu’ kind that day.


Wi’ bonnet aff, quoth I, “Sweet lass,
 I think ye seem to ken me;
I’m sure I’ve seen that bonie face
 But yet I canna name ye.”
Quo’ she, an’ laughin as she spak,
 An’ taks me by the han’s,
“Ye, for my sake, hae gien the feck
 Of a’ the ten comman’s
 A screed some day.”


“My name is Fun—your cronie dear,
 The nearest friend ye hae;
An’ this is Superstitution here,
 An’ that’s Hypocrisy.
I’m gaun to Mauchline Holy Fair,
 To spend an hour in daffin:
Gin ye’ll go there, yon runkl’d pair,
 We will get famous laughin
 At them this day.”


Quoth I, “Wi’ a’ my heart, I’ll do’t;
 I’ll get my Sunday’s sark on,
An’ meet you on the holy spot;
 Faith, we’se hae fine remarkin!”
Then I gaed hame at crowdie-time,
 An’ soon I made me ready;
For roads were clad, frae side to side,
 Wi’ mony a weary body
 In droves that day.


Here farmers gash, in ridin graith,
 Gaed hoddin by their cotters;
There swankies young, in braw braid-claith,
 Are springing owre the gutters.
The lasses, skelpin barefit, thrang,
 In silks an’ scarlets glitter;
Wi’ sweet-milk cheese, in mony a whang,
 An’ farls, bak’d wi’ butter,
 Fu’ crump that day.


When by the plate we set our nose,
 Weel heaped up wi’ ha’pence,
A greedy glowr black-bonnet throws,
 An’ we maun draw our tippence.
Then in we go to see the show:
 On ev’ry side they’re gath’rin;
Some carrying dails, some chairs an’ stools,
 An’ some are busy bleth’rin
 Right loud that day.


Here stands a shed to fend the show’rs,
 An’ screen our countra gentry;
There “Racer Jess, 2 an’ twa-three whores,
 Are blinkin at the entry.
Here sits a raw o’ tittlin jads,
 Wi’ heaving breast an’ bare neck;
An’ there a batch o’ wabster lads,
 Blackguarding frae Kilmarnock,
 For fun this day.


Here, some are thinkin on their sins,
 An’ some upo’ their claes;
Ane curses feet that fyl’d his shins,
 Anither sighs an’ prays:
On this hand sits a chosen swatch,
 Wi’ screwed-up, grace-proud faces;
On that a set o’ chaps, at watch,
 Thrang winkin on the lasses
 To chairs that day.


O happy is that man, an’ blest!
 Nae wonder that it pride him!
Whase ain dear lass, that he likes best,
 Comes clinkin down beside him!
Wi’ arms repos’d on the chair back,
 He sweetly does compose him;
Which, by degrees, slips round her neck,
 An’s loof upon her bosom,
 Unkend that day.


Now a’ the congregation o’er
 Is silent expectation;
For Moodie 3 speels the holy door,
 Wi’ tidings o’ damnation:
Should Hornie, as in ancient days,
 ’Mang sons o’ God present him,
The vera sight o’ Moodie’s face,
 To ’s ain het hame had sent him
 Wi’ fright that day.


Hear how he clears the point o’ faith
 Wi’ rattlin and wi’ thumpin!
Now meekly calm, now wild in wrath,
 He’s stampin, an’ he’s jumpin!
His lengthen’d chin, his turned-up snout,
 His eldritch squeel an’ gestures,
O how they fire the heart devout,
 Like cantharidian plaisters
 On sic a day!


But hark! the tent has chang’d its voice,
 There’s peace an’ rest nae langer;
For a’ the real judges rise,
 They canna sit for anger,
Smith 4 opens out his cauld harangues,
 On practice and on morals;
An’ aff the godly pour in thrangs,
 To gie the jars an’ barrels
 A lift that day.


What signifies his barren shine,
 Of moral powers an’ reason?
His English style, an’ gesture fine
 Are a’ clean out o’ season.
Like Socrates or Antonine,
 Or some auld pagan heathen,
The moral man he does define,
 But ne’er a word o’ faith in
 That’s right that day.


In guid time comes an antidote
 Against sic poison’d nostrum;
For Peebles, 5 frae the water-fit,
 Ascends the holy rostrum:
See, up he’s got, the word o’ God,
 An’ meek an’ mim has view’d it,
While Common-sense has taen the road,
 An’ aff, an’ up the Cowgate 6
 Fast, fast that day.


Wee Miller 7 neist the guard relieves,
 An’ Orthodoxy raibles,
Tho’ in his heart he weel believes,
 An’ thinks it auld wives’ fables:
But faith! the birkie wants a manse,
 So, cannilie he hums them;
Altho’ his carnal wit an’ sense
 Like hafflins-wise o’ercomes him
 At times that day.


Now, butt an’ ben, the change-house fills,
 Wi’ yill-caup commentators;
Here ’s cryin out for bakes and gills,
 An’ there the pint-stowp clatters;
While thick an’ thrang, an’ loud an’ lang,
 Wi’ logic an’ wi’ scripture,
They raise a din, that in the end
 Is like to breed a rupture
 O’ wrath that day.


Leeze me on drink! it gies us mair
 Than either school or college;
It kindles wit, it waukens lear,
 It pangs us fou o’ knowledge:
Be’t whisky-gill or penny wheep,
 Or ony stronger potion,
It never fails, or drinkin deep,
 To kittle up our notion,
 By night or day.


The lads an’ lasses, blythely bent
 To mind baith saul an’ body,
Sit round the table, weel content,
 An’ steer about the toddy:
On this ane’s dress, an’ that ane’s leuk,
 They’re makin observations;
While some are cozie i’ the neuk,
 An’ forming assignations
 To meet some day.


But now the L—’s ain trumpet touts,
 Till a’ the hills are rairin,
And echoes back return the shouts;
 Black Russell is na sparin:
His piercin words, like Highlan’ swords,
 Divide the joints an’ marrow;
His talk o’ Hell, whare devils dwell,
 Our vera “sauls does harrow”
 Wi’ fright that day!


A vast, unbottom’d, boundless pit,
 Fill’d fou o’ lowin brunstane,
Whase raging flame, an’ scorching heat,
 Wad melt the hardest whun-stane!
The half-asleep start up wi’ fear,
 An’ think they hear it roarin;
When presently it does appear,
 ’Twas but some neibor snorin
 Asleep that day.


’Twad be owre lang a tale to tell,
 How mony stories past;
An’ how they crouded to the yill,
 When they were a’ dismist;
How drink gaed round, in cogs an’ caups,
 Amang the furms an’ benches;
An’ cheese an’ bread, frae women’s laps,
 Was dealt about in lunches
 An’ dawds that day.


In comes a gawsie, gash guidwife,
 An’ sits down by the fire,
Syne draws her kebbuck an’ her knife;
 The lasses they are shyer:
The auld guidmen, about the grace
 Frae side to side they bother;
Till some ane by his bonnet lays,
 An’ gies them’t like a tether,
 Fu’ lang that day.


Waesucks! for him that gets nae lass,
 Or lasses that hae naething!
Sma’ need has he to say a grace,
 Or melvie his braw claithing!
O wives, be mindfu’ ance yoursel’
 How bonie lads ye wanted;
An’ dinna for a kebbuck-heel
 Let lasses be affronted
 On sic a day!


Now Clinkumbell, wi’ rattlin tow,
 Begins to jow an’ croon;
Some swagger hame the best they dow,
 Some wait the afternoon.
At slaps the billies halt a blink,
 Till lasses strip their shoon:
Wi’ faith an’ hope, an’ love an’ drink,
 They’re a’ in famous tune
 For crack that day.


How mony hearts this day converts
 O’ sinners and o’ lasses!
Their hearts o’ stane, gin night, are gane
 As saft as ony flesh is:
There’s some are fou o’ love divine;
 There’s some are fou o’ brandy;
An’ mony jobs that day begin,
 May end in houghmagandie
 Some ither day.


 Note 1. “Holy Fair” is a common phrase in the west of Scotland for a sacramental occasion.—R. B. [back]
Note 2. Racer Jess (d. 1813) was a half-witted daughter of Poosie Nansie. She was a great pedestrian. [back]
Note 3. Rev. Alexander Moodie of Riccarton. [back]
Note 4. Rev. George Smith of Galston. [back]
Note 5. Rev. Wm. Peebles of Newton-upon-Ayr. [back]
Note 6. A street so called which faces the tent in Mauchline.—R. B. [back]
Note 7. Rev. Alex. Miller, afterward of Kilmaurs. [back]

Written by Robert Burns | Create an image from this poem

67. Epistle to John Goldie in Kilmarnock

 O GOWDIE, terror o’ the whigs,
Dread o’ blackcoats and rev’rend wigs!
Sour Bigotry, on her last legs,
 Girns an’ looks back,
Wishing the ten Egyptian plagues
 May seize you quick.


Poor gapin’, glowrin’ Superstition!
Wae’s me, she’s in a sad condition:
Fye: bring Black Jock, 1 her state physician,
 To see her water;
Alas, there’s ground for great suspicion
She’ll ne’er get better.


Enthusiasm’s past redemption,
Gane in a gallopin’ consumption:
Not a’ her quacks, wi’ a’ their gumption,
 Can ever mend her;
Her feeble pulse gies strong presumption,
 She’ll soon surrender.


Auld Orthodoxy lang did grapple,
For every hole to get a stapple;
But now she fetches at the thrapple,
 An’ fights for breath;
Haste, gie her name up in the chapel, 2
 Near unto death.


It’s you an’ Taylor 3 are the chief
To blame for a’ this black mischief;
But, could the L—d’s ain folk get leave,
 A toom tar barrel
An’ twa red peats wad bring relief,
 And end the quarrel.


For me, my skill’s but very sma’,
An’ skill in prose I’ve nane ava’;
But quietlins-wise, between us twa,
 Weel may you speed!
And tho’ they sud your sair misca’,
 Ne’er fash your head.


E’en swinge the dogs, and thresh them sicker!
The mair they squeel aye chap the thicker;
And still ’mang hands a hearty bicker
 O’ something stout;
It gars an owthor’s pulse beat quicker,
 And helps his wit.


There’s naething like the honest nappy;
Whare’ll ye e’er see men sae happy,
Or women sonsie, saft an’ sappy,
 ’Tween morn and morn,
As them wha like to taste the drappie,
 In glass or horn?


I’ve seen me dazed upon a time,
I scarce could wink or see a styme;
Just ae half-mutchkin does me prime,—
 Ought less is little—
Then back I rattle on the rhyme,
 As gleg’s a whittle.


 Note 1. The Rev. J. Russell, Kilmarnock.—R. B. [back]
Note 2. Mr. Russell’s Kirk.—R. B. [back]
Note 3. Dr. Taylor of Norwich.—R. B. [back]
Written by Andrew Barton Paterson | Create an image from this poem

Santa Claus in the Bush

 It chanced out back at the Christmas time, 
When the wheat was ripe and tall, 
A stranger rode to the farmer's gate -- 
A sturdy man and a small. 
"Rin doon, rin doon, my little son Jack, 
And bid the stranger stay; 
And we'll hae a crack for Auld Lang Syne, 
For the morn is Christmas Day." 

"Nay noo, nay noo," said the dour guidwife, 
"But ye should let him be; 
He's maybe only a drover chap 
Frae the land o' the Darling Pea. 

"Wi' a drover's tales, and a drover's thirst 
To swiggle the hail nicht through; 
Or he's maybe a life assurance carle 
To talk ye black and blue," 

"Guidwife, he's never a drover chap, 
For their swags are neat and thin; 
And he's never a life assurance carle, 
Wi' the brick-dust burnt in his skin. 

"Guidwife, guidwife, be nae sae dour, 
For the wheat stands ripe and tall, 
And we shore a seven-pound fleece this year, 
Ewes and weaners and all. 

"There is grass tae spare, and the stock are fat. 
Where they whiles are gaunt and thin, 
And we owe a tithe to the travelling poor, 
So we maun ask him in. 

"Ye can set him a chair tae the table side, 
And gi' him a bite tae eat; 
An omelette made of a new-laid egg, 
Or a tasty bit of meat." 

"But the native cats have taen the fowls, 
They havena left a leg; 
And he'll get nae omelette at a' 
Till the emu lays an egg!" 

"Rin doon, rin doon, my little son Jack, 
To whaur the emus bide, 
Ye shall find the auld hen on the nest, 
While the auld cock sits beside. 

"But speak them fair, and speak them saft, 
Lest they kick ye a fearsome jolt. 
Ye can gi' them a feed of thae half-inch nails 
Or a rusty carriage bolt." 

So little son Jack ran blithely down 
With the rusty nails in hand, 
Till he came where the emus fluffed and scratched 
By their nest in the open sand. 

And there he has gathered the new-laid egg -- 
'Twould feed three men or four -- 
And the emus came for the half-inch nails 
Right up to the settler's door. 

"A waste o' food," said the dour guidwife, 
As she took the egg, with a frown, 
"But he gets nae meat, unless ye rin 
A paddy-melon down." 

"Gang oot, gang oot, my little son Jack, 
Wi' your twa-three doggies sma'; 
Gin ye come nae back wi' a paddy-melon, 
Then come nae back at a'." 

So little son Jack he raced and he ran, 
And he was bare o' the feet, 
And soon he captured a paddy-melon, 
Was gorged with the stolen wheat. 

"Sit doon, sit doon, my bonny wee man, 
To the best that the hoose can do -- 
An omelette made of the emu egg 
And a paddy-melon stew." 

"'Tis well, 'tis well," said the bonny wee man; 
"I have eaten the wide world's meat, 
And the food that is given with right good-will 
Is the sweetest food to eat. 

"But the night draws on to the Christmas Day 
And I must rise and go, 
For I have a mighty way to ride 
To the land of the Esquimaux. 

"And it's there I must load my sledges up, 
With the reindeers four-in-hand, 
That go to the North, South, East, and West, 
To every Christian land." 

"Tae the Esquimaux," said the dour guidwife, 
"Ye suit my husband well!" 
For when he gets up on his journey horse 
He's a bit of a liar himsel'." 

Then out with a laugh went the bonny wee man 
To his old horse grazing nigh, 
And away like a meteor flash they went 
Far off to the Northern sky. 

When the children woke on the Christmas morn 
They chattered with might and main -- 
For a sword and gun had little son Jack, 
And a braw new doll had Jane, 
And a packet o' screws had the twa emus; 
But the dour guidwife gat nane.
Written by Robert Louis Stevenson | Create an image from this poem

The Bour-Tree Den

 CLINKUM-CLANK in the rain they ride,
Down by the braes and the grey sea-side;
Clinkum-clank by stane and cairn,
Weary fa' their horse-shoe-airn!

Loud on the causey, saft on the sand,
Round they rade by the tail of the land;
Round and up by the Bour-Tree Den,
Weary fa' the red-coat men!

Aft hae I gane where they hae rade
And straigled in the gowden brooms -
Aft hae I gane, a saikless maid,
And O! sae bonny as the bour-tree blooms!

Wi' swords and guns they wanton there,
Wi' red, red coats and braw, braw plumes.
But I gaed wi' my gowden hair,
And O! sae bonny as the bour-tree blooms!

I ran, a little hempie lass,
In the sand and the bent grass,
Or took and kilted my small coats
To play in the beached fisher-boats.

I waded deep and I ran fast,
I was as lean as a lugger's mast,
I was as brown as a fisher's creel,
And I liked my life unco weel.

They blew a trumpet at the cross,
Some forty men, both foot and horse.
A'body cam to hear and see,
And wha, among the rest, but me.
My lips were saut wi' the saut air,
My face was brown, my feet were bare
The wind had ravelled my tautit hair,
And I thought shame to be standing there.

Ae man there in the thick of the throng
Sat in his saddle, straight and strong.
I looked at him and he at me,
And he was a master-man to see.
. . . And who is this yin? and who is yon
That has the bonny lendings on?
That sits and looks sae braw and crouse?
. . . Mister Frank o' the Big House!

I gaed my lane beside the sea;
The wind it blew in bush and tree,
The wind blew in bush and bent:
Muckle I saw, and muckle kent!

Between the beach and the sea-hill
I sat my lane and grat my fill -
I was sae clarty and hard and dark,
And like the kye in the cow park!

There fell a battle far in the north;
The evil news gaed back and forth,
And back and forth by brae and bent
Hider and hunter cam and went:
The hunter clattered horse-shoe-airn
By causey-crest and hill-top cairn;
The hider, in by shag and shench,
Crept on his wame and little lench.

The eastland wind blew shrill and snell,
The stars arose, the gloaming fell,
The firelight shone in window and door
When Mr. Frank cam here to shore.
He hirpled up by the links and the lane,
And chappit laigh in the back-door-stane.
My faither gaed, and up wi' his han'!
. . . Is this Mr. Frank, or a beggarman?

I have mistrysted sair, he said,
But let me into fire and bed;
Let me in, for auld lang syne,
And give me a dram of the brandy wine.

They hid him in the Bour-Tree Den,
And I thought it strange to gang my lane;
I thought it strange, I thought it sweet,
To gang there on my naked feet.
In the mirk night, when the boats were at sea,
I passed the burn abune the knee;
In the mirk night, when the folks were asleep,
I had a tryst in the den to keep.

Late and air', when the folks were asleep,
I had a tryst, a tryst to keep,
I had a lad that lippened to me,
And bour-tree blossom is fair to see!

O' the bour-tree leaves I busked his bed,
The mune was siller, the dawn was red:
Was nae man there but him and me -
And bour-tree blossom is fair to see!

Unco weather hae we been through:
The mune glowered, and the wind blew,
And the rain it rained on him and me,
And bour-tree blossom is fair to see!

Dwelling his lane but house or hauld,
Aft he was wet and aft was cauld;
I warmed him wi' my briest and knee -
And bour-tree blossom is fair to see!

There was nae voice of beast ae man,
But the tree soughed and the burn ran,
And we heard the ae voice of the sea:
Bour-tree blossom is fair to see!
Written by Robert Burns | Create an image from this poem

61. Second Epistle to J. Lapraik

 WHILE new-ca’d kye rowte at the stake
An’ pownies reek in pleugh or braik,
This hour on e’enin’s edge I take,
 To own I’m debtor
To honest-hearted, auld Lapraik,
 For his kind letter.


Forjesket sair, with weary legs,
Rattlin the corn out-owre the rigs,
Or dealing thro’ amang the naigs
 Their ten-hours’ bite,
My awkart Muse sair pleads and begs
 I would na write.


The tapetless, ramfeezl’d hizzie,
She’s saft at best an’ something lazy:
Quo’ she, “Ye ken we’ve been sae busy
 This month an’ mair,
That trowth, my head is grown right dizzie,
 An’ something sair.”


Her dowff excuses pat me mad;
“Conscience,” says I, “ye thowless jade!
I’ll write, an’ that a hearty blaud,
 This vera night;
So dinna ye affront your trade,
 But rhyme it right.


“Shall bauld Lapraik, the king o’ hearts,
Tho’ mankind were a pack o’ cartes,
Roose you sae weel for your deserts,
 In terms sae friendly;
Yet ye’ll neglect to shaw your parts
 An’ thank him kindly?”


Sae I gat paper in a blink,
An’ down gaed stumpie in the ink:
Quoth I, “Before I sleep a wink,
 I vow I’ll close it;
An’ if ye winna mak it clink,
 By Jove, I’ll prose it!”


Sae I’ve begun to scrawl, but whether
In rhyme, or prose, or baith thegither;
Or some hotch-potch that’s rightly neither,
 Let time mak proof;
But I shall scribble down some blether
 Just clean aff-loof.


My worthy friend, ne’er grudge an’ carp,
Tho’ fortune use you hard an’ sharp;
Come, kittle up your moorland harp
 Wi’ gleesome touch!
Ne’er mind how Fortune waft and warp;
 She’s but a *****.


She ’s gien me mony a jirt an’ fleg,
Sin’ I could striddle owre a rig;
But, by the L—d, tho’ I should beg
 Wi’ lyart pow,
I’ll laugh an’ sing, an’ shake my leg,
 As lang’s I dow!


Now comes the sax-an’-twentieth simmer
I’ve seen the bud upon the timmer,
Still persecuted by the limmer
 Frae year to year;
But yet, despite the kittle kimmer,
 I, Rob, am here.


Do ye envy the city gent,
Behint a kist to lie an’ sklent;
Or pursue-proud, big wi’ cent. per cent.
 An’ muckle wame,
In some bit brugh to represent
 A bailie’s name?


Or is’t the paughty, feudal thane,
Wi’ ruffl’d sark an’ glancing cane,
Wha thinks himsel nae sheep-shank bane,
 But lordly stalks;
While caps and bonnets aff are taen,
 As by he walks?


“O Thou wha gies us each guid gift!
Gie me o’ wit an’ sense a lift,
Then turn me, if thou please, adrift,
 Thro’ Scotland wide;
Wi’ cits nor lairds I wadna shift,
 In a’ their pride!”


Were this the charter of our state,
“On pain o’ hell be rich an’ great,”
Damnation then would be our fate,
 Beyond remead;
But, thanks to heaven, that’s no the gate
 We learn our creed.


For thus the royal mandate ran,
When first the human race began;
“The social, friendly, honest man,
 Whate’er he be—
’Tis he fulfils great Nature’s plan,
 And none but he.”


O mandate glorious and divine!
The ragged followers o’ the Nine,
Poor, thoughtless devils! yet may shine
 In glorious light,
While sordid sons o’ Mammon’s line
 Are dark as night!


Tho’ here they scrape, an’ squeeze, an’ growl,
Their worthless nievefu’ of a soul
May in some future carcase howl,
 The forest’s fright;
Or in some day-detesting owl
 May shun the light.


Then may Lapraik and Burns arise,
To reach their native, kindred skies,
And sing their pleasures, hopes an’ joys,
 In some mild sphere;
Still closer knit in friendship’s ties,
 Each passing year!

Written by Robert Burns | Create an image from this poem

418. Song—O were my love you lilac fair

 O WERE my love yon Lilac fair,
 Wi’ purple blossoms to the Spring,
And I, a bird to shelter there,
 When wearied on my little wing!
How I wad mourn when it was torn
 By Autumn wild, and Winter rude!
But I wad sing on wanton wing,
 When youthfu’ May its bloom renew’d.


O gin my love were yon red rose,
 That grows upon the castle wa’;
And I myself a drap o’ dew,
 Into her bonie breast to fa’!
O there, beyond expression blest,
 I’d feast on beauty a’ the night;
Seal’d on her silk-saft faulds to rest,
 Till fley’d awa by Phoebus’ light!
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