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Slugging Saint

 'Twas in a pub in Battersea
 They call the "Rose and Crown,"
Quite suddenly, it seemed to me,
 The Lord was looking down;
The Lord was looking from above,
 And shiny was His face,
And I was filled with gush of love
 For all the human race.

Anon I saw three ancient men
 Who reckoned not of bliss,
And they looked quite astonished when
 I gave them each a kiss.
I kissed each on his balding spot
 With heart of Heaven grace . . .
And then it seemed there was a lot
 Of trouble round the place.

They had me up before the beak,
 But though I told my tale,
He sentanced me to spend a week
 In Yard of Scotland Gaol.
So when they kindly set me free
 Please don't think it amiss,
If Battling Bill of Battersea,
 For love of all humanity
 Gives you a kiss.

Poem by Robert William Service
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Book: Reflection on the Important Things