Unwinnable Maiden and Unstoppable Man
Miriam’s five fingerprints did not quite show on Christopher’s right cheek. Christopher Humphrey had risked a holding of her right arm under circumstances that did not indicate even her half consent to it.
So, it had to be “A lady’s-taming-the-wild-guy slap” best delivered with a disdaining left hand and undisguised ill-will! Miriam’s big regret was the absence of a cameraman in the vicinity to capture the very moment her left palm had flattened against Christopher Humphrey’s right cheek.
“A terrible mistake!”
Twenty-two-year-old Miriam promised herself a better calculation next time beginning with better preparation. She had still looked Fair to Behold after connecting a Not-Fair Slap to the right cheek of Christopher another twenty-two-year-old human as handsome as she was beautiful… And what’s more, her Husband Hopeful!
But all these had meant ‘rubbish’ to fair-skinned Miriam, often purposing to show the viewing public that she had not the faintest flair for her six-footer admirer, popular guy and final-year student of Accounting.
“I hope this Accounting finalist has been counting my slaps of him across his leathery face!”
Next time, she, Miriam shall arrange ahead of time a straight filming of whichever quality of slap or blow she chose to land on Unstoppable Christopher! Of course, she would be only two glad to pay for its video coverage in cash that would be counted and it would be complete!
Only last week, Miriam had not spared Christopher a worse ordeal, then wildly scratching his hands with which he had lightly tapped her silky hair. On that embarrassing Thursday of the 19th December of COVID’s 2019 Christopher had after the humiliation, retained an amused expression; even seemed to be quite at home with it!
And it was a shock - a piece of dismay - to the witnessing unfortunate eyes, no fewer than forty pairs at the Peace Square of their Bara Metropolis. If Christopher had, lips shut, walked out of the scene looking obviously crucified, it would have gone in his favour as a belated show of a still existing pride in him. But No! Christopher rather felt persuaded to remark, probably for Comedy, that he had wanted in the heat of that moment to hit back at Miriam but soon wisely dropped the idea out of justified fears that Miriam would wickedly go ahead to stuff his mouth full with pebbles or sand or both!
“Oh! My God! One of the revolted bystanders could not help while another just beside him continued to twist his pitying beards.
Both of them were sure and could swear that they had been watching and listening to A Fully Mad Man! However, another co-watcher of the drama would rather the two men shifted ‘The Mad Thing’ completely from Christopher to his love for Miriam! The last speaker perfectly looked like one who would not brook any challenge of his candid opinions in the sense of being ready to drag and drag a point.
“Then, may our Lord God help the guy or his mad love” offered the beards-fondling one, sometimes massaging a shocked forehead.
A Quite Loud Amen!
An Amen which had incorporated more voices than the two which had begun the conversation that gave birth to it.
Somehow, still, the Amen could not set the seal on the release of newer opinions on the just witnessed scene. There was to be another from a man with a face so bemused that one, two or three persons could have seriously bothered about finding out from him what The Subject of Amusement was. Obvious the man made what had tickled his fancy, when he tagged Christopher Humphrey action A Fifteenth Century Chivalry by A Twenty-First Century Knight who, though, attempted to stretch it a little farther. The Middle-Aged Man would not want to hear it noised again that Miriam would have stuffed Christopher’s mouth with inedible sand or A Coarser Christopher rashly daring to encircle his arm round her waist stabbing with either a sharp dagger or a blunt one…
“No… No… No… I don’t see this particular woman exceeding normal expectations after more provocation,” Maintained The Maverick Theorist then wearing matching dark glasses that sort of mystified him.
The many pairs of ears that indulged his words he finally tingled, when he urged their owner listeners to leave Christopher to his present predicaments, as sooner as later he would be brushing his thrilled Christopher lips against Miriam’s waiting ones, his triumphant Christopher arms from behind cradling full her waist, both of them quivering with excitement; neither he speaking nor they listening ever likely to get a dog’s chance of nearing the same Miriam for an as casual an amorous physical contact as a hug.
The word ‘Hell’ is a bit of a bogus one for an honest comparison of Christopher’s experiences in the hands of Miriam with The Very Unpleasant in Satan’s Hell Fire, no choices or alternatives for The Tenants, no walking away from the furnace. Christopher Humphrey could breathe insult-free air, if he opted for a long or short distance from Miriam Dozie, chose never to display actions that fitted The Sexual Harassment of a responsible lady.
Christopher Humphrey continued to suffer, as he strove to press his case as Miriam’s Eligible Life Partner. Awful, chilly scenes of endurance of the indescribable by a man from his Valued Subject of affection. It was mostly A Wild-Wild-West Miriam determinedly chasing A Fleeing Christopher from their house, each time he paid her A Romeo’s visit for making her his Juliet… A sometimes-rough-stick-swinging Miriam seemingly hoping to artistically redesign Christopher skin!
All these were then. The last time I saw Miriam, she was dragging a pretty large tummy, whose occupant acquired the space from what she and Christopher had given more than a single try at odd hours of the night.
A mystery, isn’t it? I had thought it would remain one, until Miriam only coughed, if she would not grape her mouth open. But a Frederick friend of mine did not think Miriam needed to cough nor would he Frederick, show the least interest in the sound, if she did, his reason: Nearly all women remember with victory the open and secret wounds they had given their husbands while they were their boyfriends, because they had been ‘Too Quick’ to touch their skirts from their zips or on their lips planted kisses!…
Childishly enough, I myself had forgotten that every courageous man has limitless chances of winning for himself an otherwise unwinnable maiden.
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