We don't consider ourselves equal opportunity anythings, because that's not - you know, that's the beauty of fake journalism. We don't have to - we travel in fake ethics.
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But we are at war, and we here at THE DAILY SHOW will do our best to keep you informed of any late-breaking...humor we can find. Of course, our show is obviously at a disadvantage compared to the many news sources that we're competing with at a disadvantage in several respects. For one thing, we are fake. They are not. So in terms of credibility we are, well, oddly enough, actually about even. We're about even.
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If the evens of September 11, 2001, have proven anything, it's that the terrorists can attack us, but they can't take away what makes us American - our freedom, our liberty, our civil rights. No, only Attorney General John Ashcroft can do that.
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Thou shall not kill. Thou shall not commit adultery. Don't eat pork. I'm sorry, what was that last one? Don't eat pork? Is that the word of God, or is that pigs trying to outsmart everybody? by
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The Supreme Court ruled that disabled golfer Casey Martin has a legal right to ride in a golf cart between shots at PGA Tour events. Man, the next thing you know, they're going to have some guy carry his clubs around for him.
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I missed the boat once when I was young and stupid, but now I am able to miss the boat repeatedly with great skill and accuracy.
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Hamilton, of course, shot in a duel with Aaron Burr over issues of honor, integrity and political maneuvering. Whittington? Mistaken for a bird.
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All of the delegates gave up their time to travel with her to show the world the creative face of Canada through performance, discussions and interviews in the host countries,
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Generosity is another quality which, like patience, letting go, non-judging, and trust, provides a solid foundation for mindfulness practice. You might experiment with using the cultivation of generosity as a vehicle for deep self-observation and inquiry as well as an exercise in giving. A good place to start is with yourself. See if you can give yourself gifts that may be true blessings, such as self-acceptance, or some time each day with no purpose. Practice feeling deserving enough to accept these gifts without obligation-to simply receive from yourself, and from the universe.
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Does anyone know...does the Christian persecution complex have an expiration date? Because...uh...you've all been in charge pretty much since...uh...what was that guys name...Constantine. He converted in, what was it, 312 A.D. I'm just saying, enjoy your success.
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They have the highest customer satisfaction that I've seen.
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There is no such thing as an impartial jury because there are no impartial people. There are people that argue on the web for hours about who their favorite character on Friends is.
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You're dealing with a show where the lead character is making the irritating and uncomfortable choice,
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I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about things that I actually care about. And that's really it. You know, if I really wanted to enact social change� I have great respect for people who are in the front lines and the trenches of trying to enact social change. I am far lazier than that.
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Ultimately, people would respond a lot better to being treated like adults ... if politics wasn't treated like marketing,
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Why can't they have gay people in the army? Personally, I think they are just afraid of a thousand guys with M16s going, Who'd you call a faggot?
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How come they are the most excited people here? That's how you pick up an Oscar.
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When all else fails, make fun of Donny Osmond.
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Democracy works. Against us.
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Getting between him and his fans -- I don't think it's the P. I think it's the bodyguards,
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I already miss him. At 42, you don't get the opportunity to be tickled a lot.
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I believe (that) the fundamental and traditional view of marriage is between a man and a woman. On the other hand, I don't believe constitutions are about taking away rights. That's why I wouldn't have supported an amendment in the federal government and I won't support one in New Jersey.
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One of the things that makes our military the best in the world is the certain knowledge of each soldier, sailor, airman, and Marine that they can always count on their comrades should they need help - that they will never be abandoned.
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Don't cross Lorenzo Lamas. Ever.
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The idea that Sudan could buy and make use of extremely sophisticated nuclear technology is obviously a question mark.
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I don't think this chicken-little approach by higher education is going to win them any votes for the tax increase.
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The wrong sort of people are always in power because they would not be in power if they were not the wrong sort of people.
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I was really happy, and I'm almost hesitant to say this, because every time I brag on him, he goes the other way, but Jon Wade just played really impressive (Monday) night,
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No. Spiritual is the wrong word. He's occultic. He's like a walking embodiment of death. He can stop you at a distance. He can influence physical events just with his mind. If he catches your attention he can stop you without touching you.
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Awareness is not the same as thought. It lies beyond thinking, although it makes no use of thinking, honoring it's value and it's power. Awareness is more like a vessel which can hold and contain our thinking, helping us to see and know our thought as thought rather than getting caught up in them as reality.
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