My way of joking is to tell the truth. That's the funniest joke in the world.

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Housekeeping ain't no joke.

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Television is a medium of entertainment which permits millions of people to listen to the same joke at the same time, and yet remain lonesome

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My life has been one great big joke A dance that's walked A song that's spoke, I laugh so hard I almost choke When I think about myself.

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There are certain queer times and occasions in this strange mixed affair we call life when a man takes the whole universe for a vast practical joke.

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Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is pleased to call a joke.

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There's an old joke - um... two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of 'em says, 'Boy, the food at this place is really terrible.' The other one says, 'Yeah, I know; and such small portions.' Well, that's essentially how I feel about life - full of loneliness, and misery, and suffering, and unhappiness, and it's all over much too quickly.

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We're just asking people to kind of look at how they're getting their comedy a little bit differently. Since it's not joke-driven in a traditional sense, the jokes are coming out of how we ratchet up the size of the elephant in the room. If you're invested in the characters and you're onboard with them on an emotional level, that laugh will come out of a relatable place.

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My life has been one great big joke, a dance that's walked a song that's spoke, I laugh so hard I almost choke when I think about myself.

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With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law, and every time they make a law it's a joke.

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A taste for irony has kept more hearts from breaking than a sense of humor for it takes irony to appreciate the joke which is on oneself.

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A taste for irony has kept more hearts from breaking than a sense of humor, for it takes irony to appreciate the joke which is on oneself.

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One should never risk a joke, even of the mildest and most unexceptional charters, except among people of culture and wit.

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A play is made by sensing how the forces in life simulate ignorance-you set free the concealed irony, the deadly joke.

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If American politics does not look to you like a joke, a tragic dance; if you have enough blindness left in you, on any plea, on any excuse, to vote for the Democratic Party or the Republican Party (for at present machine and party are one), or for any candidate who does not stand for a new era, -- then you yourself pass into the slide of the magic-lantern; you are an exhibit, a quaint product, a curiosity of the American soil. You are part of the problem.

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The Legend of 'Kilroy was here' was started inadvertently by a shipyard inspector during WWII named James J. Kilroy , who used the logo to indicate his inspection of riveting in the newly constructed troop ships was complete.
To the unfortunate troops outbound in those ships, however, he was a complete mystery ... all they knew for sure was that he had 'been there first'. As a joke, they began placing the graffiti wherever they (the US forces) landed, claiming it was already there when they arrived.

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To a joke, then, I owe my first gleam of consciousness—which again has recapitulatory implications, since the first creatures on earth to be...

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Great use they have, when in the hands Of one like me, who understands, Who understands the time and place, The person, manner, and the grace, Which fools neglect; so that we find, If all the requisites are join'd, From whence a perfect joke must spring, A joke's a very serious thing.

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I never smile when I have a bat in my hands. That's when you've got to be serious. When I get out on the field, nothing's a joke to me. I don't feel like I should walk around with a smile on my face.

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Harrison Ford as the President of the United States in Air Force One is such a perfect piece of casting that it's once a fantasy and a joke The joke is how perfect the fantasy is.

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You've really got to start hitting the books because it's no joke out here.

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Whatever is funny is subversive, every joke is ultimately a custard pie... a dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion.

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If American politics does not look to you like a joke, a tragic dance; if you have enough blindness left in you, on any plea, on any excuse, t...

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A joke is not a thing but a process, a trick you play on the listener's mind. You start him off toward a plausible goal, and then by a sudden twist you land him nowhere at all or just where he didn't expect to go.

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There have to be some boundaries. The butt of the joke cannot be God or the prophet or the religion itself. I'm very careful about sacrilegious humor. I'm not a shock comic who's going to do something that will inflame Muslims.

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Eternity is a mere moment, just long enough for a joke.

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Today George Bush is laughing again. Over 1,000 Americans have lost their lives. Americans are being beheaded. Iraq is a mess, and they think this is a joke. It is clear they have no idea how to protect our troops, but they will do anything to protect their jobs.

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Humor, a good sense of it, is to Americans what manhood is to Spaniards and we will go to great lengths to prove it. Experiments with laboratory rats have shown that, if one psychologist in the room laughs at something a rat does, all of the other psychologists in the room will laugh equally. Nobody wants to be left holding the joke.

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They'll continue to show it on television, ... They'll show it on ESPN 40 times. They'll say I'm a cancer. The crowd loved it. The fans love it. The producers in the truck love it because it's big news. But to us, it's a joke.

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Television is a medium of entertainment which permits millions of people to listen to the same joke at the same time, and yet remain lonesome.

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