Bewitched does not promote Satanism
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I will not Xerox my butt
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My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man
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Coffee is not for kids
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All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy
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I am not a dentist
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Bagman is not a legitimate career choice
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Indian burns are not our cultural heritage
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I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty
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I will not call my teacher 'Hot Cakes'
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I will not go near the kindergarten turtle
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I will not sell miracle cures
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Wedgies are unhealthy for children and other living things
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I will not spin the turtle
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Garlic gum is not funny
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Beans are neither fruit nor musical
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Mud is not one of the 4 food groups
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Bart Bucks are not legal tender
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Five days is not too long to wait for a gun
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I am not a lean mean spitting machine
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Funny noises are not funny
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I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers
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High explosives and school don't mix
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I will not prescribe medication
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Cursive writing does not mean what I think it does
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Public school is a place of detention for children placed in the care of teachers who are afraid of the principal, principals who are afraid of the school board, school boards who are afraid of the parents, parents who are afraid of the children, and children who are afraid of nobody.
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There are people in our society who should be separated and discarded. I think its one of the tendencies of the liberal community to feel that every person in a nation of over 200 million people can be made into a productive citizen. Im realist enough to believe this cant be. Were always going to have our prisons, were always going to have our places of preventive detention for psychopaths, and were always going to have a certain number of people in our community who have no desire to achieve or who have no desire to even fit in an amicable way with the rest of society. And these people should be separated from the community, not in a callous way but they should be separated as far as any idea that their opinions shall have any effect on the course we follow.
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I do not have diplomatic immunity
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Goldfish don't bounce
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I will not strut around like I own the place
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