Taoism: Shit happens Hare krishna: Shit happens Rama Rama Ding Ding Hinduism: This shit has happened before Islam: That shit happens is the will of Allah Zen: What is the sound of shit happening? Existentialism: Shit doesn't happen; shit is Buddhism: When shit happens, is it really shit? Confucianism: Confucius say, 'Shit happens' 7th day Adventist: Shit happens on Saturdays Protestantism: Shit won't happen if I work harder Protestantism: If shit happens, it happens to someone else Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserved it Jehovah's Witnesses: Knock, knock, 'Shit happens' Jehovah's Witnesses: No shit happens until Armaggedon Unitarian: What is this shit? Mormon: Shit happens again & again & again Judaism: Oy vey! Why does this shit always happen to us? Pentacostalism: Praise the shit! Atheism: There is no shit! New Age: Shit happens and it happens to smell good Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit
Shit Happens, in various World Religions
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The strength of a nation derives from the integrity of the home.
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Recompense injury with justice, and recompense kindness with kindness.
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Do not be desirous of having things done quickly. Do not look at small advantages. Desire to have things done quickly prevents their being done thoroughly. Looking at small advantages prevents great affairs from being accomplished.
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If language is not correct, then what is said is not what is meant; if what is said is not what is meant, then what must be done remains undone; if this remains undone, morals and art will deteriorate; if justice goes astray, the people will stand about in helpless confusion. Hence there must be no arbitrariness in what is said. This matters above everything.
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A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step
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A youth is to be regarded with respect. How do you know that his future will not be equal to our present?
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Be not ashamed of mistakes and thus make them crimes.
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When we see men of a contrary character, we should turn inwards and examine ourselves.
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While you are not able to serve men, how can you serve spirits [of the dead]?...While you do not know life, how can you know about death?
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The object of the superior man is truth.
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A man who does not plan long ahead will find trouble right at his door.
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When we see men of worth, we should think of equaling them when we see men of a contrary character, we should turn inwards and examine ourselves.
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Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change.
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Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance.
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Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.
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I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.
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Silence is the true friend that never betrays.
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When anger rises, think of the consequences.
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Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without.
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He who wishes to secure the good of others has already secured his own.
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Once Confucius was walking on the mountains and he came across a woman weeping by a grave. He asked the woman what here sorrow was, and she replied, We are a family of hunters. My father was eaten by a tiger. My husband was bitten by a tiger and died. And now my only son! Why don't you move down and live in the valley? Why do you continue to live up here? asked Confucius. And the woman replied, But sir, there are no tax collectors here! Confucius added to his disciples, You see, a bad government is more to be feared than tigers.
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It is not possible for one to teach others who cannot teach his own family.
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The man who in view of gain thinks of righteousness; who in the view of danger is prepared to give up his life; and who does not forget an old agreement however far back it extends - such a man may be reckoned a complete man.
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The determined scholar and the man of virtue will not seek to live at the expense of injuring their virtue. They will even sacrifice their lives to preserve their virtue complete.
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He who will not economize will have to agonize.
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The man who in view of gain thinks of righteousness who in the view of danger is prepared to give up his life and who does not forget an old agreement however far back it extends - such a man may be reckoned a complete man.
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Learning without thought is labor lost.
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[The superior man] acts before he speaks, and afterwards speaks according to his actions.
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Do not impose on others what you yourself do not desire.
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