When you're away
It is midnight and I lay alone.
It will be a while before we see each other again,
Or even speak.
I went for a drive tonight, like we often do,
Except this time I was alone.
The tea was bland without you.
I am unfulfilled, restless.
My chest feels tight, but also bottomless;
You give me sorrow and despair.
The colors of the world have faded,
My drive is dull and without life.
When I see a vehicle pass, or turn a corner,
Even if it isn't like yours, but especially when it is,
I get butterflies -
Though I know it isn't you.
Laying here, my skin tingles with yearning,
It craves your touch.
My fingertips are reaching for something that isn't there,
Anything - your hand, back, chest, lips...
Eyes closed, I can see you gazing back at me,
That expression so filled with love and kindness.
I feel your arms around me,
So safe and warm.
Each time my phone dings I wonder if it's you,
I am flustered, my chest thumping hard.
If it's not you,
I'll close my eyes and hear your voice,
So soft above the crackle of fire,
I'll smell your skin, sweet like honey.
My heart swells into my throat,
Pressure rises in my temples.
I find myself fighting back the tears.
It's the thought of you,
The memory, the feeling.
If that was all I had of you,
It would be enough for me to feel loved forever.
I pray for you, and for us.
I am so grateful.
I love you.
Copyright © Elaine Ho | Year Posted 2017