Distasteful
“We will talk,” he says,
as if those words will bring me any solace.
From this moment,
nothing will ever be the same.
I am now anticipating a conversation
where I will have to swallow every word
that escapes your mouth;
I will taste every syllable
that rolls off your tongue.
“Things are just difficult,” he says
as if anything in life is easy.
As if up to this point I’ve never dealt
with strenuous circumstances.
But I have not
allowed
those difficult things
to deprive me of such a beautiful feeling
of awe.
I know it may be hard to explain,
but give it to me raw, I can bare it.
I’ve heard scarier things within my thoughts during those late nights that I thought would never end.
But they eventually
turned into mornings.
I deserve to know, how difficult
life must be
with me in it.
Don’t spare me the gruesome details
I want the grittiness of your soul
to reflect
onto mine; I want to endure the essence of
“Difficult” from within you.
Explain it to me slowly;
I want this final talk to mean something.
It’ll be our last one for us like this.
I want it to be savored and fulfilling.
I want it to leave a bitter taste
in your mouth,
so that after you
withhold this conversation
& express to me
how “Difficult” it is to want me
you will notice you aren’t the same
without me.
Every time you swallow,
I want the relish of my lips to resonate
on your taste buds.
Months later,
living your life
without me,
then you could say–
“It’s just difficult,”
& I would believe you.
Copyright © Julissa Rios | Year Posted 2016
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