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Unfocused

I felt my thoughts screaming
I knew it had to be the reason
Your demons come to haunt me
The same demons I'm always feenin'
It's not the time and place
I keep thinking
I'm too awake for this..
My heart aches a symptom
Of the lack of strength
That I face because my hormones
Are not the same
My body fights with my emotional state
I want to meditate but my head is
Just to weak for this ish
But I know I'm stronger than this..
I keep fighting the negative thoughts
With the positive ideas that maybe
We aren't ideal for not even a friendship
My head feels like
I'm super unfocused
I can't even think of my future
With out thinking of killing myself
Or probably destroying everything that has
Hurt me
Because I'm broken..
I was doing so good fixing myself until I noticed
That I was truly just hurting myself
I get pissed off that I can't control it
Then I have a mental breakdown and
It's when I notice
That I have a home and a life and people
Who truly care about my feelings
Iam here worried about the one niqa that broke me
When did it become unnoticed
Or simply I made it unnoted...
I ask for guidance from my angels
They just stare at me like
Like the girl in the memes
The one with her hand out looking real
Dumbfounded by the idea that
I'm even crying
I could be a child of the indigo but
I'm too worried about miniscule ideas
Feelings too tiny to even hurt a fly
I need to stop and breathe
I'm too creative and too precious to die.

Copyright © Keylee Yanez | Year Posted 2017

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