What If
As I sit here in the darkness straining to see any light that is hope, will, and
meaning. A darkness consumes me. As I give up what is left of my innocence’s.
What was once my dreams. I no longer have to wonder what it will be like. I no
longer have to fantasize about it because now I know its not all people say it is
but it is something you’ll never forget you’ll always remember the first time.
Always compare it to all the others .
It will drive you crazy afterward thinking about it.
But it will stop. Putting it all behind me now seeing that I was wrong for doing it.
That it was not love but something often mistaken as it. Now as I think I become
angry and wonder WHY and HOW I could do this to myself.
What was kindness,compassion,and trust is now shyness,loneliness,and hate
toward myself and everyone around me. Because I know that I can’t take it all
back that everyone was right that I should have waited for the perfect time,
person, and then love would have been apart of it not just mistakenness
Now sitting still thinking about it all as I ponder
Copyright © Trinity Rogers | Year Posted 2006
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