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Living yet lifeless

As bedtime approaches, an inexplicable sadness settles in, morphing into frustration with the morning light. The weight of getting out of bed feels crushing, but the summer heat eventually forces me up. I put on a brave face for the kids and start my day, though the silence feels suffocating.

The thought of depression creeps in, and I hate the familiarity of this struggle. A single tear may fall, but it's enough to make me feel stuck. One moment, I crave comfort; the next, I'm overwhelmed by the urge to scream.

Despite the turmoil, I want to live, but I'm tired of this monotonous existence. I yearn for more, believing I deserve it. The inner voices are relentless, their screams piercing. Meditation becomes my escape, a temporary reprieve from the chaos.

I repeat positive affirmations, though they feel hollow. Hope clings tight, and faith fuels my fight. Yet, in quiet moments, I'm reminded that fate ultimately decides our path. We all end up in the same place, regardless of our journey.

Copyright © Nompilo Lady Fair Cele | Year Posted 2025

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Book: Reflection on the Important Things