You would never still love me
“You’re so pretty” you say
But will you still think the same when my shorts roll up
When you get a glimpse of my ugly scars
Or when I freeze as your hands touch my thigh
As I’ve never learned how to accept that with the same hunger it’s given
All I do is freeze and desperately try to get my fathers hands out of my mind
“You always get through the hard times it’s inspiring” You proudly tell me
But would you think the same if you knew that I never won those battles
I never got through them I just learned to live with the war waging in my head
“You always forgive people it’s admirable”
But I know you would never think the same if you could hear my thoughts
Hear how my hatred only festered more once I stoped speaking it aloud
Or how I rely on my hatred as if it’s the key to immortality
“I love you” you tell me
But it’s not me you love
Well not the real me only the mask I’ve carefully made
Because underneath I’m just broken shards of glass that I tried to tape back together
And you wouldn’t piece me back together because then you would get cut too
So I’ll keep my mask on and add more tape when the shards of who I once was get to sharp
Copyright © Alexa Gray | Year Posted 2026
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