Not Bad Enough - if reading this helps even one person feel less alone and seen, I'll be happy
My pain is not big enough
All around me other people lay their pain bare
Exposing their insides to the world
I witness, I watch
Learning only that
My pain is too ugly and not bad enough
Mine to bear alone
My pain is unfinished, unpolished
Who am I to lay claim to such distress
My pain is not special enough, not shameful enough
I perform too well, my pain hidden from view
My words are not adequately evocative or provocative
My despair is mundane, boring
Not worthy of attention
My pain is self made; my own worst enemy
Not deserving of pity
A self-defeating paradox, a self-fulfilling prophecy
Nothing to be rewarded or tended to here
My grief, unremarkable; my sorrow, too ordinary
The unbearable pain of my existence: an overused cliché
Nothing special in my brokenness - not broken enough
My pain is not bad enough - yet must be edited to spare others
Hide the depths of despair, the tears, the dark moments
Lest I be too much and simultaneously not enough
Too sensitive, not strong enough to bear the weight
Yet, strong enough to hold the pain of others
To bear witness, to soothe, to contain
A paradox of pain and self loathing
Poetry of self pity the only salve
Copyright © Josephine Scott | Year Posted 2025
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