The Pacifist
THE PACIFIST
It needa stay air tight lock out the thoughts,
we don’t need an ignition
I gotta get cold now,
Cuz the love made me mushy
-Burn that down let them feel you fr
Please go sit down
I shouldn’t be able to hear you today. Why are you so loud?
I made you quiet and kept us safe
-But I’m trying to protect you.
Yea and maybe it’s them who needs to be safe
Did you ever think of that?
-Did you ever think that maybe I too had your back?
But in what world is it that you protects me?
-They hurt you so I make them leave.
-You Shield them all from my cleansing touch knowing they’ll never love you as much.
-But I love you so I let you trap me because more than anything I want you to be happy
-It’s you who matters to me up until forever
-I’ll stay in check we could handle them together.
That sound like a trap are you really who I can trust?
-You trust them but not me?
They never burned it down to spite me. I thought it was love, their words seemed pure I thought intentions might be to,
—I don’t burn to spite because my only concern is you.
I keep you locked in that room cuz I don’t know what you’ll do
-I’ll burn it all down!
I know and I’m afraid.
-Afraid? I’m helping, they don’t love you like I do, they’ll never see what I watched you go through.
They weren’t there, that’s not fair!
-But I was and I helped, I taught you how to stay cold so you wouldn’t melt,
-That was all you, you thought? Why? -Because I’m only responsible for making it hot? I loved you when you didn’t even know yourself and now you keep me restricted and kept on the shelf. They hurt you and you allowed it but you didn’t know I felt it too, you can’t hide the pain from me, I’m you! Stop lying to pacify me I feel what they do to you, let me keep you safe, just give me a little room. Stand back I got it. I’ll handle it all for you
-I’ll keep us safe in here to protect you .
Protection? All I see is destruction, every time you come out everyone gets to running, I want to grow I want peace I just want to be happy, I don’t wanna scorch the earth but I also don’t like what’s happening
-They don’t love you and I do why is that so hard for you to see? Why can’t the way you love them be the way you love me? Have I hurt you? Twisted your heart?
No.
-I know because I’ve been fixing it from the start. LET ME OUT MYA! In not gonna ask again. You need to let me out stop holding me in.
I can fix it though I don’t need your help.
-Fix it how? Freeze it over so you can stare at them and pout? I only get one you so stop sending me away, stop giving them your love when I’m here at the end of the day. Mya I love you an I don’t know how to make you see that the only one who can really protect you is me
If this world were right things wouldn’t have to be, I could be me open an freely,
life has no expected date for when it should end but I pray it doesn’t come from the fire within
Copyright © Mya Ballard | Year Posted 2024
|