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All In, All Gone

I said just this once,
Just one more game.
But the more that I gave,
The more it pulled me in.

Every spin of the reel,
Every light on the wheel,
Held a promise so real,
That I couldn't feel.

I watched numbers blur,
Felt time slip away,
Betting on tomorrow,
Losing today.

In the glow of the screen,
I chased a bright lie, 
As the winnings grew thin,
And the losses ran high.

I told myself "quit,"
But the pull was too strong,
The hope of a win,
Dragged me along.

Now I'm tangled in regret,
A web I can't break,
A jackpot of losses,
And more than just stakes.

If I could turn back,
If I could rewind,
I'd trade every chance,
To find peace of mind.


Copyright © Courtney Holladay | Year Posted 2024

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Date: 12/1/2024 6:43:00 PM

Dear Courtney, your poem is deeply moving. I was especially touched by "Betting on tomorrow,/Losing today." Wonderful rhythm and rhymes tell an intimate, soulful story of the throes of addiction. Congratulations for your success in Kai's contest. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

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