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Simply My Heart

With a heavy heart and a nervous touch I write to you
With all the willpower I possess I continue this charade
I feel heavier with each heartbeat
Stronger and yet weaker,
Unable to process that which weakens me so

I know the inevitable approaches,
That constructed world I pray for
The one I hope and cry for
I know its ever-growing anguish seems almost too much

And then with a touch,
With but a word I am yours again,
Broken and happy
Just a flutter of your eye lashers makes my heart skip
Your breath like that of the world itself
Sending shivers through me, a cooling warmth
Adrenaline sets in and I care not

All I want is you, all I care for is our little world
Ignore all reality, basking in each other’s glory

And then before it can even begin to gather to climax
you vanish from me again,
The waves of fear and anguish set in
I am left as a crushed husk

It is as though I have you and yet will never have you
I fear it still, and yet I turn not away
I turn to you, embrace the inevitable pain
Basking in the euphoric glory when you are in my arms
The feel of your breath
The warmth of your skin
The tingle as I brush you gently
Drinking in all that you are, in total being

I come to accept this now. 
If you are ever mine then it will be a miracle
A joyous miracle, and yet still that shot in the dark
That dark that is banished with your eyes

I could fall into you, into lust, into ecstasy.
Into purest joy.
The light you bring into my life is more than I can take
And yet I want it all for myself, 
I want to bask in it always, until life has its last breath
I need not the sun, nor the moon, nor the stars.
I have the purest light of them all.
You.

And to you, my dearest heart
I cry one last tear,
Breathe one last breath
And then delve into you once more
If only to experience that which breaks me more each day.

Until you are mine, I will always be broken
You can make me whole, you alone
I wish for your happiness, but I am selfish
As I believe you would be happiest with me.

Copyright © Martin Walker | Year Posted 2010

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Date: 1/31/2016 8:08:00 PM

Hi Martin, A great pleasure to find and read your poem today. Love -- SKAT --

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Book: Shattered Sighs