You say it's Love, Part two
POEM: You say it's Love (Part two)
POET: Shanice Xaba
Again I feel useless, again I’ve been used and abused and treated like garbage put at the side of the road being ripped apart by dogs, only this time one dog is ripping me apart and it’s been doing it over and over again and it just won’t stop.
I don’t know if it was stupidity but I thought that things would get better, yet again I write this with a broken heart tarnished mind, I write this with a heart full of love and a mind full of confusion and you still say it’s love.
Every single word from this is like every drop of blood now oozing from my head, and every tear I shed is like every heartache and fear I dread and after all of that you still say it’s love.
I still remember the colour of the bedding we had that day when he pushed me on the bed and sat on top of me and punched me till I bled, mmmh I’ve never cried like that before I never want to feel that way anymore but how do I get out of this? when the woman that gave birth to me seems to see this as a lesson to me..for what? mmmh well she says “you’ll grow” and I still wonder if she’ll ever know, know the pain that I am going through day by day my mind is the stage of a play about a young girl abused by her lover who is now the farther of her unborn child and even though she is carrying this innocent soul he just won’t stop punching her on the face and he keeps doing this like someone keeps saying replay.
When I try to open up and talk about it they say “but why don’t you just leave”? and I don’t blame them for asking me that because well they don’t know, they don’t know how hard it is to leave when someone keeps reminding you how badly and sad and painful your life will become if you try to flee and I know this cause I tried and well it ended up with a 3 way call, me, him and my earth deliverer and her saying “don’t leave, it’s gonna be okay” now that’s when I lost hope, and at night I couldn’t cope because as soon as I close my eyes I see my lover just punching me ruthlessly, and me screaming painfully.
And guess what? she still says it’s love.
Copyright © Shanice Xaba | Year Posted 2024
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