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Breathe

Everything and nothing. It’s all the same.
Just a mixture of emotions. Emotionless. 
Bursting. To let out something, but what, I don’t know. 
Clouded. Can’t do this. I cannot do that. 
Do it all at once. Panic. panic. panic.
Just do it already, just live already.
Breathe.
What are you waiting for? 
For this to pass. They tell me, “This too shall pass.”
And, it does. From one fleeting thought to another. 
In the shape of a cloud it floats. Disappearing into thin air. 
Conceal. The words. The feelings. Hope. 
Gone. 
Breathe. Panic. Breathe.
Until palms are sweaty.
Until the world tilts and everything spins.
If I’m not on edge, this can’t possibly be right.
What is happening? What am I waiting for?
Breathe. It’s coming.
Breathe and don’t panic.
Don’t’ panic about the idea of panicking.
Don’t stop Breathing.
Because, it floods. Flooded. And, you’ve drowned.
With your head in a bucket.
You’ve filled a river with tears.
Gaze at the ceiling.
It’s over now.
What just happened?
Again and again.
Repeat.
Don’t panic.
Breathe.

Copyright © Shamara Thomas | Year Posted 2017

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Book: Reflection on the Important Things