I TRUSTED YOU
In my bed, I hear the floor creek
Closer and closer toward my bedroom door,
I try to stay quiet hiding under the covers
Though I know he will find me.
I hope he doesn't hear my heartbeat
Or hear me praying "God will protect me tonight."
But as I do, I start to cry because I know
TONIGHT IS ONE OF THOSE NIGHTS WHEN GOD JUST DOESN'T HEAR ME.
I let out one more sob
And the door sways open,
The hallway light shines in
But darkness radiates off him.
So strong,
He has a smile on his face;
Bet, nothing will stop him
And I can't even defend myself.
He gets on top of me holding me down
And as I try to turn away,
He pulls me back covering my mouth
I'm scared to breathe.
A few weeks pass by,
I hear him moaning my name
While stumbling around the house
Closer and closer he's walking toward me.
Now he's on my bed
And before he even touches me
I begin to cry as I wonder
Where is God tonight?
This time I fight back
I yell,
I cry
But he has ways to shut me up.
I do everything I can to loosen his grip.
He's hurting me so bad but will not let me go;
NO
He will not let me go
Not until he had finished.
He leaves me lying there
To think of what I have lost
“ I'm sorry " is not enough
He doesn't even realize what it has cost.
Another few weeks pass by
The shame keeps getting worse
Too afraid to tell
Though it's so hard to hide this pain
Day after day.
I must have been bad that night
I hear him coming closer as I'm lying on the floor
Lord, I would do anything
If you keep him from walking
through that door.
But he does,
I finally realize I am all alone;
No one to protect me
No one who can save me.
So I lie back down to take it
But he throws me on the bed
And makes me relive my worst fears
When I just want to be dead.
I don't want to kill myself
I just want to die.
God, why have you abandoned me?
Can you not see the tears I cry?
Copyright © Pardy Mupfumbu | Year Posted 2024
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