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Tom Murray Poem
Everyone poops,
It doesn't matter if you eat salad or soup,
or if you're a fish in the sea,
We all poop and we pee.
You could be a bear in the woods,
Who poops where he should,
or the guy that only eats cheese who wishes he could.
You could be the prettiest girl,
That's ever lived on this world,
You'd still poop like the rest of us and flush it down with a swirl.
Athletes even have to go poo,
They can come first in the race but they still go number 2.
So don't feel so bad everyone does it,
Your mother, your father, your siblings, and cousins,
Everyone poops, Everyone knows that it's brown
Can you keep a secret, I'm pooping right now!
Copyright © Tom Murray | Year Posted 2015
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Tom Murray Poem
It was hot yesterday. How hot was it you ask?
It was so hot outside that I'd rather be in class doing math,
It was so hot when I heard a joke that was funny I actually forgot to laugh.
How hot was it at one o'clock?
Hot enough to make me feel like I didn't have time to check my watch,
Hotter than Megan Fox wearing wool socks with Crocs
Walking across hot coals to ask me to elope and I said "No thanks, it's too hot."
How hot was it?
Like a billion degrees.
I wasn't even willing to sneeze,
Because in this heat,
That would bring me to my knees.
I felt like I was Lebanese in the summer,
Or a Burmese Python putting the squeeze on a woolen sheep with a sunburn.
How how was it?
Would you like to discuss it?
Hotter than the temper of some guy who's Kate Upton's cousin,
Hot enough to cook a Tuscan Raider without an oven,
Hot enough to make Darth Vader sweat in the vacuum of space over Russia.
How hot was it?
I was in a state of coldness withdrawal,
I wanted to jump off the Empire State Building just for the breeze from the fall.
It was hot enough to make PETA say it was okay to rain cats and dogs,
And believe me, I was appalled.
Copyright © Tom Murray | Year Posted 2015
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Tom Murray Poem
Listen Hunny,
Just because you think that you're the bees knees doesn't mean you can tell me to buzz off,
I've got you in the palm of my hand and I think it's safe to say the gloves are off,
You used to be my queen bee,
You stole my heart and my love, it's too bad there's no honor among thieves,
But now I'm back with a vengeance like I had Scoliosis,
Feels like the weight of the world is on my shoulders,
You couldn't be colder to me if it was snowing,
But look now my face is glowing, and I can't even help it,
The world is my oyster and now it's for me to be shellfish(selfish),
Pardon the pun but I have to stick to my guns,
You brought a knife to a gun fight, you better run for your life,
Because my pen is mightier than your sword, baby
And you can bet that I live by it today so I'm going to die by it later.
Copyright © Tom Murray | Year Posted 2015
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Tom Murray Poem
A train filled with people in each passenger car,
But we all are alone locked behind bars,
My friends tell me to leave but there's no getting off,
No departing the train until it reaches its stop,
I asked the conductor if the train would ever leave limbo,
He said "I'm sorry son I don't think so,
Please try to relax and take a seat by the window",
So I sat down and looked out at the bleakness,
My soul has gone cold from this disease with no treatment,
How did it come to this I can't even believe it,
How can I be floating and on the ground at the same time,
How can I put on a brave face if all I can do is cry,
This train makes me lie, I tell you what you want to hear,
You can even see with every word that I speak that I'm cloaked in fear,
It's smothering me I can't breathe there's just tears,
Coughing and gasping I've never been so scared,
This unknown will be my electric chair,
Wait, whats that up ahead,
A break in the fog a space for the tracks to end.
Copyright © Tom Murray | Year Posted 2015
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