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Clear Raspberry Poem
Nobody knows.
It has come back to haunt me.
It will not go away.
It has been almost 3 years now since it has returned.
I am worse than ever. I am so tired. I am just. so. tired.
I am tired of hiding. I am tired of hiding behind my fake happy smile.
My smile is getting tired.
How can I fake this forever?
One of these days I don’t think it will be there anymore, it will change, and it will be gone.
But until then, I will tell myself, you can be strong, fake it, fake it…..fake it.
No one knows that I yell and scream at times, nightmares appear, I zone out and remember old and new, I hide away, I hurt in many ways, I avoid, I reminisce in my mind and don’t like it, memories are sporadic and sometimes flood in, I really want to be happy but what others do not know, I am not.
I want to be normal again.
Normal.
Working on this will take a long time, so I am told….
…but, I am just….so….tired.
Copyright © Clear Raspberry | Year Posted 2015
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Details |
Clear Raspberry Poem
Where shall I go?
I am stuck right here, and not many people know
I am trying to escape, but I am told that is not the way to go
I want to stay in this hole, but responsibility drags me out
Why must I have to feel this way? I always have a doubt
I am trying to find ways to get help
Friends, family, doctors, and counselors, just hanging on my belt
Sometimes I think badly, so bad I get scared
Even though scared has always been here, I still try to care
So why does it bother me, and why do I hate it?
Look at me, listen to me, it is because my self-esteem has been hit.
I look back at the photos realizing I was crazy for thinking what I thought
But now it is still reality, I have become my own sadness, and that is exactly what I caught.
Copyright © Clear Raspberry | Year Posted 2015
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