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Jill Allen Poem
You were "blood", & you had nowhere else to go.
You were the brother of my love, how could we tell you no?
We welcomed you in our home, you and your "escorting" hoe.
He even got you a job, as you stated "I won't let you down, bro".
But no good deed goes unpunished, our sentence was not even deferred.
An Instant hell, we fell and we fell, dwelling in the stench of one little demons turd.
My love, he lost his job, because, well Josh, YOU know EXACTLY why.
You ruined the life we worked so extremely hard for...you-the epitome of a big 'ole lie!
Our things were disappearing, but you, you thought you were so very, very sly.
On a golden pond of crescent stars, you were floating on a free moon pie...
My dress, my shirt, our conditioner and for God's sake, my deodorant too?
Was there anything else you forgot to take? Perhaps you'd prefer we send it to you?
My shirt jumped from my drawer, grew lil' feet and placed them on the floor...
Ran down the hall, scooping up my deodorant and into your bag they soared...
Your kitten, the one left in our yard, because of you, she'd almost died.
When we saw her deteriorating condition, it was enough to make one cry.
Poor little thing, you told us she would catch her own food outside.
One more being left in your wake, drowning in the storms from your tide...
Nine hundred dollars in fines, that's how much we paid to claim your kitten as our own.
Or the animal control would take her out of the misery of the only life she had ever known.
For a concerned neighbor, assuming we were responsible, was kind enough to phone,
and they were going to take her, & put her to sleep before she was ever even grown.
But I could not let that happen, even as now, we have not even paid our rent.
My love, because of you, he has no income, and we may all end up residing in a tent.
To think, one little brother could be responsible for these rapid, earth-shattering events,
leaving us a tumbling down alone, and for the next ruining, off you went!
This down-slope of destruction, on and on, has yet to slow for us...
disturbing hatred now swirls inside my belly as this journey has been so rough...
Now YOU have the nerve to question to US, while attempting unsuccessful to act so tough,
The ironic cherrybomb, our sweet icing on the cake, you ask, "HAVEN’T YOU DONE ENOUGH?"
Copyright © Jill Allen | Year Posted 2009
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Jill Allen Poem
Vaporized by the mere cruelty of life,
the smoky intoxication of reality puzzles my entire soul.
As pieces of my puzzle break off into the abyss of time
and disappear for all eternity.
Some things they are not forever
just not meant to be.
As all the tragedies of me
dissolve into particles of aching nausea.
When the truth is swell and the wounds are inflated.
I witness the gash of torment resting on my soul.
A suctioning tube, it was, etching rain into my already cold, cold season.
To mourn would last for all of time.
as shards of glass fall into my tortured eyes.
Until I wish to no longer see.
The pain of my pupils now soaking the salt of my unforgiving tears,
melting into time's own concoction of relentless brutality.
Until I no longer know where i reside.
Living in this bubble of utter repetition.
To call it a Hell would be only redundancy in it's rawest state.
Not really caring to bother,
but neither being permitted to be late
I'm surrendering ownership of my life.
Cooking away my creativity, they try to sell their plastic grins
Hoping that society will merely turn it's two faced head.
Selling themselves out, and expecting me to do the same.
Selling out to a world that will buy stars that are not for sale.
And if you're caught smoking trees, then you'd better have bail.
We're in their twilight now.
But who's to say "their" right?
Copyright © Jill Allen | Year Posted 2006
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Jill Allen Poem
The storm in my eyes has been silenced by the presence of your soul.
I close them tight and I pray and pray that I never let go.
Though we've only just met, I know you by heart.
Throughout lifetime's of separation, this now feels like the start.
I want to melt away with you inside our small heavenly sea.
As I peer into your spirit, all that I see is me.
I do not know where you came from.
I sometimes cannot believe that you are real.
My heart will allow me to do nothing,
but ride with how I feel.
You are my calming waters
though you scare me half to death.
Afraid to close my eyes
I catch myself holding my breath.
For if you disappear,
you will take away my dreams.
You have absolutely no idea,
what you already mean to me.
Copyright © Jill Allen | Year Posted 2007
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Jill Allen Poem
Erotic ecstasy in sensual bliss.
A thousand emotions delivered by a kiss.
You made me feel you, though my heart tried to object.
Your soul spoke to mine and you were the subject.
The core of my heart must now be replaced.
Sentenced to a life, partially erased.
But my mind still swears the knowledge
of where my heart stands.
It is in your hands.
You are the biggest wall to ever stand before me.
I cannot knock you down, for I have no more strength.
I have tried and tried again
but you have conquered my every wind.
Your cruelty ate my love.
Tell me, how did it taste?
So as I stand in your path now
look me in my face.
Fall into my eyes and drift into your weakness.
For our connection is stronger than words.
we need not figure out the rest.
We are the same as we are meant to be as one.
You believe that you will win
but the moon cannot beat the sun.
Throughout creation, time and time again.
We shall float away together, and neither shall win.
You cannot tell me that you do not care
for I know better.
You will not disappear for my soul will not be scattered.
You broke me once as you attacked by surprise.
But I am now ready, for the sun to set there must be sunrise.
So please will you finally give in too
and watch it with me?
For my sun is not the same without you.
Copyright © Jill Allen | Year Posted 2007
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