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Joe Bob Poem
This country’s sure got problems
Corruption, crime, and drugs.
And though we try to fix the world
The world just hates our guts.
But for all our woes and troubles
I still love the US
‘Cause compared to the rest of the world
America sucks less
They call us all polluters
With our Hummer SUV’s
But in China you can taste the air
And it taste like iPhone 3’s
You may hate our politicians
And protest what they say
But think about how much it sucks
To be Russian and gay
Our congress can’t do anything
Our senators are goons
But at least they were elected
And their name’s not Kim Jong–un
Japan makes better cars than us
Games and cartoon shows
But I saw The Cove on Netflix huh
And that was pretty messed up, bro
America, I love you, out of necessity
You’re not too hot and not too cold
And mostly not diseased
Compared to the alternative
You’re probably the best
‘Cause the whole world sucks
But America sure sucks less
Our economy is tanking
But we’re not as bad as Greece
Our fast food is disgusting
But Italy has maggot cheese
The NSA is spying on
Our emails and phone calls
But good luck finding WiFi
In some village in Nepal
Brazil is full of riots
Australia’s full of snakes
Mexico’s got cartels
And their water makes you crap for days
Dubai is just Las Vegas
Without alcohol or fun
And Africa’s in a post-colonial tailspin
Of genocide and oppression
I am so sorry for everything you guys have to deal with....Anyways,
America, I love you
Though you’re run by old white men
Republicans are a-holes
But at least they’re not the French
We’d probably get a solid B
If they gave the world a test
‘Cause the whole world sucks
But America sure sucksless
America, I love you
For your lack of murder squads
Your working indoor plumbing
And your mostly valid laws
In a world of mostly crap
America stinks the best
Except for maybe Canada
You guys have a pretty good thing going
‘Cause the whole world sucks
But America sure sucks less
Copyright © Joe Bob | Year Posted 2014
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