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Leslie Zrust Poem
I have broken past the point of breaking,
My world shattered.
I said I would never trust again, I could never!
Then one day I met you, everything that held me fell away.
My broken heart put together, my fears still there.
This time though it was different!
I needed nothing from you, but wanted to make you happy!
Making you happy made me ok again!
I never intended to get so close, to fall!
But my awe at feeling again was too much to bear.
I was tired of not feeling, being numb to all others.
I let you get to me, past were anyone else ever got.
Something in me breaks lose when you’re around!
You are my weakness and my strength. You are my pain and my happiness.
Never before has anyone had that control.
All I want is you!
Perhaps what made the difference?
I know that time runs fast, it is gone before it has even passed.
I live in the moment, but now I know there is a clock ticking away.
How could I let go, even knowing someday you won’t be here. Too soon!
I want it all, go to sleep with you, wake up to you.
I want to build with you, even though I know that building with you will just crumble when you’re gone.
Then I will stand alone in the rubble I knew was coming!
I keep trying to break it apart now, to stop the extra hurt.
To never have more memories; to close my heart before it’s no longer there.
My faith shaken because I don’t want to be alone without you.
But my hope is what keeps me there.
Because I want the laughter, the anger, the tears, and the love of being with you.
I want everything I can get and hold it dear.
Do I let go now and not live in the day that it is, like I demand of myself,
Or do I hold on and enjoy the moment as is and hope to heaven that my memories keep me.
My world shattered once, but I didn’t break as a person. I faltered and I got back up.
But this, this will break me! If my memories don’t keep me;
My faith and hope will disappear.
My love will never again shine.
I will lose my fight!
And yet I fight to live in this moment with you!
Copyright © Leslie Zrust | Year Posted 2013
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Details |
Leslie Zrust Poem
A Letter to my Heartbreak,
I know you will never understand the love I have for you. It doesn't just go away or fade, it stays and I push it deep inside. You think I'm leaving this marriage because I don't care or love you, but it's because I do love you and I don't want us to destroy each other. We have both hurt each other beyond repair.
You couldn't control the hurt that was thrown at you. All the hurt I received from you, I would have prevented. So the blame doesn't fall soley on you. I let you say the things you said, do the things you did. Yes you chose to act like that, but I chose to stay.
I stayed because I loved you, but love doesn't cure all. Love does not move mountains. You can love someone and walked away. You throw the girls' dad's in my face. Lilliánna's dad was never "there" so he couldn't leave me. The triplets dad gave me a choice, to stay with him and give away the girls or to leave and keep them. All these years I said he left, but really he only left the girls, I made my choice to leave and be alone.
Love does not conquer all. Love is actions, not words. Love is working extra so you can spoil. Love is taking care of one another when they're sick. Love is sacrificing for another. Love is holding someone when they hurt.
You waited too long to show that love. You waited til I broke and felt like nothing to build me up again. Now that I am putting myself back together you want to build me up. No it is time I put myself back together and remind myself that I am strong, beautiful, and worth everything.
I am done because I don't know if I can let you near me again physically or emotionally. To be close to you means to let you break me! I can't take the chance of letting you in again, no matter how much it hurts me to push you away!
I forgive you, I love you, and even though I miss you, it is time for us to part. It is time for us to rebuild our lives, but separately, as individuals. Our dreams together were not meant to be. That being said, I hope you follow all your dreams, I hope you find love and happiness, a future with someone. Whatever path you take, I wish the best for you!
From,
My Heartache
Copyright © Leslie Zrust | Year Posted 2018
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