A Letter To My Heartbreak
A Letter to my Heartbreak,
I know you will never understand the love I have for you. It doesn't just go away or fade, it stays and I push it deep inside. You think I'm leaving this marriage because I don't care or love you, but it's because I do love you and I don't want us to destroy each other. We have both hurt each other beyond repair.
You couldn't control the hurt that was thrown at you. All the hurt I received from you, I would have prevented. So the blame doesn't fall soley on you. I let you say the things you said, do the things you did. Yes you chose to act like that, but I chose to stay.
I stayed because I loved you, but love doesn't cure all. Love does not move mountains. You can love someone and walked away. You throw the girls' dad's in my face. Lilliánna's dad was never "there" so he couldn't leave me. The triplets dad gave me a choice, to stay with him and give away the girls or to leave and keep them. All these years I said he left, but really he only left the girls, I made my choice to leave and be alone.
Love does not conquer all. Love is actions, not words. Love is working extra so you can spoil. Love is taking care of one another when they're sick. Love is sacrificing for another. Love is holding someone when they hurt.
You waited too long to show that love. You waited til I broke and felt like nothing to build me up again. Now that I am putting myself back together you want to build me up. No it is time I put myself back together and remind myself that I am strong, beautiful, and worth everything.
I am done because I don't know if I can let you near me again physically or emotionally. To be close to you means to let you break me! I can't take the chance of letting you in again, no matter how much it hurts me to push you away!
I forgive you, I love you, and even though I miss you, it is time for us to part. It is time for us to rebuild our lives, but separately, as individuals. Our dreams together were not meant to be. That being said, I hope you follow all your dreams, I hope you find love and happiness, a future with someone. Whatever path you take, I wish the best for you!
From,
My Heartache
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