Best Poems Written by Jazzmine Porter

Why

I can't love nobody until I love myself.
So I let a "good thing" go.
Is that selfish? Is it good.? Because I'm really confused.
I've never had this problem before.
But I guess I never had a chance anyway, 
so why am I worried.
I can't miss something that I didn't have, right?
So why am I crying?
Why does this hurt me this much? 
Why now, when I should care less? 
I didn't care when I was losing that "good thing"? 
So why now? It hurts so bad.
I don't like this feeling at all!
It's painful, it's empty, full of hopelessness.
But I still ask why now? 
Why does it hurt me to even think about it?
I let that "good thing" go, I just let it leave me,
I didn't even put up a fight.. Why is my love so complicated? 
Why do I love that "good thing" with all my heart but I just let it go. 
Watched it leave me slowly and didn't try to stop it.
So I ask why now do I care.? It's gone now, I can't get it back.
But I didn't have it, so why am I hurting? 
I can't miss something I didn't have!!! 
Or did I have it but didn't notice??
Because I loved but didn't show it, 
I could of had it but didn't get it, 
so why does it hurts?? 
Because I loved but wasn't loved back.
No it was because I was afraid of rejection.
Afraid of love.
My love is too deep to be given, to have, to love.
That's why I hurt so bad, 
because of what I could of had is gone because I was scared, 
terrified of the fact that I, Jazzmine Ja'Vonn Porter, was in love.
For the first time.
But I just couldn't take the dreams, 
I would have of that "good thing".
They were too much for me to handle!
I didn't have the time to love, think, talk, 
or dream of that "good thing".
So I let it go.? Does that make any sense?
I had opportunities, 
but I just turned them down for no reason.
I loved that "good thing". But let it go.
What's wrong with me?
It's gone now, I have no more chances, 
I can't get it back, It's beyond late to do anything..

Copyright © Jazzmine Porter | Year Posted 2011