Details |
Christina Murray Poem
I like watching from the sidelines
Studying the shapes of people
The way a mouth moves as words are spoken
The soft or dramatic light that flickers in their eyes when they recognize a familiar face
I watch body language settle into comfort
Or tense with nervousness
There’s something fulfilling in seeing conversations
Without hearing them
In witnessing emotions shift as time passes
And wondering what unseen moment created them
I’ve always loved the way my father tells stories
How reminiscing seems to bring him closer to youth
The shape of his face when he laughs
while recalling the playful trouble of his younger days
Always paired with over animated hands
As if the memories need help finding their way out
The differences in people are endless
Interacting with others
Or alone within themselves
Unaware they’re completely exposed and telling all
I understand more when I can sit quietly
and study the natural way someone moves
Like the pause where they physically weigh a thought
Before responding, before choosing
And sometimes without thinking at all
And that’s why I don’t mind being an extra
in the background of someone else’s scene
In fact, I think I prefer it
Copyright © Christina Murray | Year Posted 2026
|
Details |
Christina Murray Poem
I’ve known you for what feels like a lifetime
And in another universe somewhere out there
You’re holding my hand
Somewhere out there
You’re kissing my lips and hugging me tight
But in this universe
I settle for long distance phone calls
And imagination full of what if’s
“Hypothetically, I love you”
We laugh and brush it off
Because it’s just another thing we can’t physically share
I cheer you on from the sidelines
I help you through heartache and watch you find happiness again
And you always do the same for me, every step of the way
But we both know it hurts
Because it’ll never be us
And because
“Hypothetically, I love you too”
Copyright © Christina Murray | Year Posted 2026
|
Details |
Christina Murray Poem
He turns on the lights
I close my eyes
To slip back into another life
The one in my dreams
Where you’re still here with me
Though you feel impossible to keep
Sometimes I can’t find you
Still searching my way through
Holding onto what we once knew
And when you return to me
It’s never peacefully
Never with any certainty
Because there’s always something in the way
A different distance every day
And you were never meant to stay
Copyright © Christina Murray | Year Posted 2026
|
Details |
Christina Murray Poem
I often wonder if I’m at fault for the chances we never got to take.
You’ll never get to experience my love and I, yours.
I ache to think it’ll always be too late.
Copyright © Christina Murray | Year Posted 2026
|
Details |
Christina Murray Poem
Sometimes I wonder if I look like her
In low light
Just bright enough to make out features
But not enough to notice it’s me
Maybe it’s the way my eyes gloss over in the evening
Holding the same simplicity
But mine are blue
And hers were green
We shared long, messy blonde hair
That always tangled in the wind
She had such beautiful hair
But I cut mine
And these days people say mine looks more red than blonde
Sometimes I catch my reflection
And see her for half a second
And for that half second
I let myself believe
I’m as beautiful as she was
But the older I get
The more I change in ways
That pull me further from her image
Still, for that brief moment
I can feel her living within me
Copyright © Christina Murray | Year Posted 2026
|
Details |
Christina Murray Poem
I miss you tonight
As I focus on the outline
Of white clouds in a pink sky
I miss you tonight
As if it’s any different
Than the night before
It never feels the same
The moments I realize
I have to miss you
Because you’re not here
You’re not here
You’re not here
Tonight, it’s heavy
Your absence in my life
I make it sound like your choice
But sometimes people just die
You can’t plan for it
Even if you know it’s coming
You’re never truly ready to say goodbye
I don’t know what to do with the feeling
There’s no handbook on how to heal
I keep thinking about all the things I can’t do with you
All the things you won’t experience
There’s always a spot for you
And it’s forever empty
I’m waiting for you to come home
As if it’s any different
Then the night before
I’ll still say I miss you tonight
As I focus on the outline
Of white clouds in a pink sky
I miss you tonight
Copyright © Christina Murray | Year Posted 2025
|
Details |
Christina Murray Poem
It’s 9 o’clock and I have every intention of going to sleep early tonight
But I’ve been sitting on my bed reminiscing a little too long
I take a shower that’s too hot so I can feel the discomfort on every inch of my body and know that I’m still here
But I’m never comfortable and I’m becoming comfortable with that
And it’s been 4 days since I’ve brushed my hair
Because when I’m done I know it takes less effort to just put my shirt on and crawl into my soft blankets
It takes less effort to not take care of myself
And I’m tired of taking care of myself
It’s unsettling to admit
But I’m never comfortable and I’m becoming comfortable with that
I lay here and write and listen to my playlist to cover up the noises I hear outside my window
Ignoring the world when I should be figuring it out
And I’m in a constant fight between being too hot and shivering the moment I take the covers off
But I’m never comfortable and I’m becoming comfortable with that
I’m overlooking the right things to tell myself when I’m in need of help
Like the way I overlook the tone of concern in your voice when you ask me how I’ve been
And even if I didn’t, who’s to say you would listen?
Because I’m finding it hard to uncover the difference between somebody genuinely caring and somebody only wanting something to talk about
And I’m worried I won’t be able to discover the difference inside myself
But I’m never comfortable and I’m becoming comfortable with that
I’ll lie here for hours trying to find something interesting to waste my time with
But everything is the same as it always is
And I’ll make a plan for tomorrow to do things differently than I did today
Maybe that’ll make it a little more ok
It’s hard to feel better at all when I start every day in the same stale state I was in when I finally forced myself to close my eyes
Old habits are hard to break
Because like every night before this I had intentions of going to sleep early
But it’s 4 o’clock in the morning
And I’m becoming comfortable with that
Copyright © Christina Murray | Year Posted 2025
|
Details |
Christina Murray Poem
It comes naturally
You, needing me
Loving me
And unable to come towards me
I am not waiting
I am simply here
You never cross the distance
But you have always known where to find the warmth
Copyright © Christina Murray | Year Posted 2026
|
Details |
Christina Murray Poem
I woke up in the morning as the sun was starting to rise
I stared at the vibrant colors as a tear formed in my eye
I thought I would never view the world the same as I once did
But something about your death revealed the secrets it hid
So perfect and peaceful; a scene you would have loved
But then I realized you have the best view from above
I see you in the world as I travel through
I think back to the crazy times and the marshmallow hay bales you swore were true
Old memories of stories and inside jokes are fresh on the surface of my mind
I still remember that road-kill song we would sing to pass time
The smell of the hemlock reminds me of you
Riding with the windows down just after the morning dew
The honey suckles and the fresh cut grass has a stronger smell than ever before
Smells that I love, but you loved more
It’s as if the world is reminding me that you’re still here
I thought I saw the beauty before, but now it’s so clear
You have become the beauty I now see
Beauty that I know will never cease
Copyright © Christina Murray | Year Posted 2026
|
Details |
Christina Murray Poem
It’s another night of staring at the door waiting for someone to come in
I don’t want to be alone in my oversized bed
Because being alone is exactly what it sounds like
Lonely
And I don’t know how to love myself enough to not need somebody else
I guess it’s easier
In a twisted kind of way
To accept love that’s not your own
Because somebody else is kind and somebody else likes what they see
And what I see when I look at me is anything but lovely
So come in and make me feel warm
Let me feel my skin rest against yours
Love me and I’ll pretend it’s from myself
Make me feel whole and I’ll believe that it helps
And the moment you leave I start to feel empty
Because how can I have this ability
To feel love for you but know I’m not deserving
Then you look at me and speak quietly
Your love fills me up for a moment in time
I’ll still wish I had some of my own
So when you leave I won’t be alone
Because being alone makes me realize
That I’ll never be in love with me
But I have you
And you’re all I need
Copyright © Christina Murray | Year Posted 2026
|