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Hayley Zanatta Poem
I’ll never be her,
I’ll never be the girl who wakes up and looks effortlessly beautiful,
I’ll never be the girl who has perfect lashes,
And a perfect blowout 24/7,
I’ll never get straight A’s without trying,
Because that’s just not who I am,
I’m not the girl who has guys fighting for her,
Or who gets compliments from every passing stranger,
I’m not,
And honestly I don’t think I ever will be,
But that’s okay,
I may not have guys complimenting my looks,
Or my outfits,
But I do have others things,
I get acknowledged for being kind, funny, athletic,
I get good marks because I put in an effort,
I don’t take the easy way out,
Because I have integrity,
I don’t take short cuts,
Or Loop holes,
I value hard work,
And I learned at a young age that for me at least, doing things the easy way,
Doesn’t make me happy,
But for her,
I don’t know,
She might enjoy cheating off of others because then she can stay out partying,
She might value being a puck bunny, because her looks are the most impressive thing about her,
She may even get plastic surgery because working out was too much work,
I don’t know,
And I will never know,
Because I will never be her,
I am proud of who I am and I will never change myself to become her,
I enjoy going to bed at 1am because I’m laughing on call with a friend, not because I’m out partying,
I enjoy spending days studying,
But also getting outside and playing a sport,
I value my relationships with others, and make sure I keep in touch with my friends, family, and colleagues,
I may have a basic life style,
You may even call it nerdy,
But that’s not the way I see it,
In my world,
It’s everything I need,
And everything I want,
To her it may not be much,
She may think I’m missing out on my teenage years,
But to me,
It’s perfect,
It’s the lifestyle I knew I’d be living right now,
The kind of life where I am proud of myself,
I get to do things that I enjoy
I am social,
Athletic,
And live life to the fullest
So yes,
I am not her,
I’m me,
And that’s exactly how it should be
Copyright © Hayley zanatta | Year Posted 2025
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Hayley Zanatta Poem
Obsessive, cumpulsive disorder,
OCD,
Intrusive thoughts,
OCD,
Overthinking
OCD,
However you want to say it,
It all means the same thing,
It means sleepless nights,
Pages and pages of writing,
long walks, with no music playing,
Because the voice in your head keeps you entertained,
It’s overthinking until there’s nothing more to think about,
But you’ll never get to that point,
Because there’s always something,
It’s getting stressed out about the little things,
Because everything matters to you,
It’s replaying convos in your head months after they’ve happened,
But you keep doing it,
Because somewhere between then and now somethings changed,
You just don’t know what,
You wish you did,
But you dont,
It’s planing conversations prior to doing them,
But them never actually happening,
Because that’s what OCD is,
It’s thinking of every possible scenario,
But forgetting the possibility of never running into them,
Never needing to talk about it,
Never being asked the question you thought would come up,
Its a hard thing to live with,
But there’s no escape,
There is no way to stop thinking,
The more you try the worse it gets,
But saying it’ll never get better is false,
Because it does get better,
Eventually you’ll learn how to manage,
But manage doesn’t mean solve,
Manage doesn’t mean fix,
Manage doesn’t make the pain go away,
Manage means it’ll become liveable,
Tolerable,
Bearable,
But the pain never fully stops,
The headache never fully goes away,
But the voice in your head will learn to whisper,
As you find your peace,
But it will never stop talking,
And that’s the way it should be,
Because that voice is you,
It makes you who you are,
Without it,
You wouldn’t quite be the same.
As much as you want it to leave you alone,
And you’ll spend nights banging your head,
Trying to silence it,
It won’t leave,
It’s apart of you,
And making it leave is cruel,
Because you couldn’t live without it.
So although it sucks most of the time,
And it can often ruin your mood,
It also makes you care so much,
It makes you never forget the good times,
It makes you nervous and excited for what the future holds,
So if I had the option to live without my OCD,
I’d say no,
Because it’s me,
And I am it,
And I am so grateful for that
Copyright © Hayley zanatta | Year Posted 2025
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Details |
Hayley Zanatta Poem
What makes 2am so intriguing,
Is it the quiet of the world,
The silent streets,
The feeling that you are the only person alive,
Nobody awake to text,
Call,
Or hangout with,
Becsuse whether your curling your hair,
Or cleaning your room,
It’s different at 2am,
Something and everything is better,
Is it the knowledge that soon you’ll be asleep,
Resting your eyes and your body,
Finally calm,
Or is it knowing that you made it through another day,
And you’re one day closer to finding happiness,
Regardless of what it is,
It’s good,
It’s the feeling you get when you’re finally at peace,
Nothing else matters,
Because at 2am the world is asleep,
You have no responsibilities,
And nothing to worry about in the immediate
Your mind spinning with the 2am thoughts,
What if it doesn’t work out,
What if they break your heart,
What if,
What if,
What if,
And although these thoughts suck most of the time,
At 2am it’s different,
Because for the first time you can actually finish them,
You aren’t left wondering about all the unknowns,
It allows you to be real with yourself,
Understanding the complexity with being human,
And when you’re done with the “what ifs”,
You can go to sleep,
And escape from all the chaos,
So although I probably shouldn’t be up that time
I often am,
Because something about it,
Is perfect,
So when you find me up at 2am,
Just leave me be,
I’m finally at peace,
Amd I hope you are too
Copyright © Hayley zanatta | Year Posted 2025
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