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Gabbyy Daviss Poem
A letter you won't send.. (a poem by ghd)
Dear R,
It's the day after my birthday
And two, since we officially gave up on each other.
I just woke up from a dream of you
having feelings for someone else
Even worse, she was my friend.
ChatGPT says it might mean I have lingering feelings for you,
But I don’t even know.
I know things between us never ended as well as they could,
And I regret the things I said and did.
I never wanted you out of my life.
I never want you to hate me more than you love me.
I just knew I wasn’t going to be able
to give you what you deserve
which wasn’t me,
but better.
I’m sorry I said that kiss didn’t feel like anything.
Or that I’d get over my feelings.
I did feel something, actually. I felt so much that it was scary,
because feeling means being vulnerable,
And I’ll never allow that.
I heard you telling people I was obsessed with you,
and we know that’s not true
because I would never allow myself that.
And yet… why lie?
I know I’m one of the most disgusting things to walk this earth,
But I’m truly sorry.
I’m sorry for not trying as hard as you to love me back,
Sorry for pushing your feelings away
because I didn’t want to get hurt.
I’m sorry for not being able to give you all of me,
as you said you wanted.
I just couldn’t,
because giving all of me
would mean feeling things I’m too scared to feel.
I’m sorry I didn’t take that risk.
I think I realize why I kissed you that night
It wasn’t for clarification.
It was so you could remember me,
because the thought of you forgetting me hurts.
And my writing this isn’t to make myself feel better;
It does the opposite,
because it really shows me
How much I hurt you
trying to protect myself.
I guess this is just my way of hoping
I get those flowers you promised
for my next birthday
whether from you or not.
Copyright © Gabbyy Daviss | Year Posted 2025
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Gabbyy Daviss Poem
I always looked at people doing wrong
And said I could never do that
But look at me now
I saw people lying and said
I could never do that
But look at me now
I saw people hurting themselves on purpose
And said I could never do that
But look at me now
I saw people fighting to get
Every day, and said
I could never do that. I love my life
But look at me now
But now I look at myself every day and wish I couldn't.
-GHD
Copyright © Gabbyy Daviss | Year Posted 2025
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Gabbyy Daviss Poem
A Letter You Won’t Send, Pt. 2
I thought the first letter would be the last.
But pain doesn’t end with words;
It leaks through the cracks,
forcing my hand to write again.
I said goodbye already,
Yet here I am,
Bleeding the same goodbye twice.
We broke no contact two days ago.
I poured my whole heart out to you.
It didn’t change much.
You said you came back because losing me as a lover was enough
But any more would destroy you.
And I agreed, because though I will never stop loving you,
Who am I to deny my own greed?
You said you found a new girl at another school.
That’s nice, I guess.
Funny, though
I hurt you first
But you made sure to hurt me the worst.
I’ve concluded that love only works
when it’s between me and God.
No man could ever take His place.
But I put you so high
I forgot how to let you go.
I tell my friends you’re the worst,
Then cry when you’re hurting.
Ignore you in a crowded room,
Then, I dream of you in the clouds.
Ashamed of how easy I am,
How quickly I fall for every trick.
Hurt people hurt people.
That’s true.
But worse is how much it breaks me
to fall for your random “I love you,
Your desperate cries to make me stay.
All of it was useless.
Because you never really cared.
You never really loved me.
You only loved the idea of me.
And I
I tried to save you.
But the idea of me
It is the worst thing I can offer.
Still, it sucks how I still love you.
Some sick, endless game.
How does one love another
Yet let go so quickly?
I could do it to cope.
Maybe I don’t know why.
It’s just another way to survive.
Copyright © Gabbyy Daviss | Year Posted 2025
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