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Billy Thekidster Poem
A Murder of Crows
A Shadow of Jaguars
A Flamboyance of Flamingos
A Mess of Iguanas
A Congregation of Alligators
A Crash of Rhinos
A Band of Gorillas
A Thunder of Hippos
A Pot of Water Buffaloes may wallow away,
while A Wisdom of Owls roost for the day.
A Battalion of Falcons would indeed prey,
upon A Horde of Hamsters if that horde came their way.
A Tower of Giraffes galloping by,
while A Caravan of Camels migrate close at their side.
A Conspiracy of Lemurs,
A Court of Kangaroos,
A Harem of Chimpanzees,
A Nursery of Raccoons,
A Shiver of Sharks and A Fever of Stingrays
compete to survive beneath our oceans' waves.
A Pride of Lions,
A Prickle of Porcupines,
and that's today's lesson in animal group classifying.
Copyright © Billy Thekidster | Year Posted 2016
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Billy Thekidster Poem
The first date's the hardest. I never know what it is I should do.
I take you to dinner. You don't eat, you just play with your food,
and then it suddenly hits me.
This has already happened
and I can't believe
that it's happening again,
but I've already met you
and I don't mean to upset you,
but you're like my last girlfriend
and the girlfriend I had before her.
We go back to my apartment where I proceed to go south on you.
You tell me you're bored cause I can't find that damn guy in the canoe,
and then it suddenly hits me.
This has already happened
and I can't believe
that it's happening again,
but I've already met you
and I don't mean to upset you,
but you're like my last girlfriend
and the girlfriend I had before her.
You say I'm the one, the one you cand spend the rest of your life.
"When will we marry?" you ask, "When will you make me your wife?"
and then it suddenly hits me.
This has already happened
and I can't believe
that it's happening again,
but I've already met you
and I don't mean to upset you,
but you're like my last girlfriend
and the girlfriend I had before her,
and the girlfriend I had before her,
and the girlfriend I had before her.
Inspired by:
Well, some friggin song I recently heard but can't get outta my head.
Copyright © Billy Thekidster | Year Posted 2010
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Billy Thekidster Poem
Poet Destroyer, P D
has confided to me
that P D
is indeed
a She,
but then again, P D
may be screwing with me.
We shall see.
So I hope this anwers the question you all keep asking me.
"Is P D a He or is P D a She?"
It truly doesn't really matter to me.
Here on the internet we're all gender free
basically.
A woman I could very well be.
Perhaps I'm the widow of theKidster in reality
or his mother who still loves him very dearly,
still in mourning, unable to let go, keeping alive his memory.
Perhaps his already written poems he left behind I post for all to read
and the comments his work receives brings comfort to me.
Something to think about. Wouldn't you agree?
Copyright © Billy Thekidster | Year Posted 2010
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Billy Thekidster Poem
Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD)
is no longer correct politically.
The correct term being used presently
is Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID)
Please make a note of it if you please
or you'll offend my alter personalities.
Yes it's plain for all to see.
Yours truly is crazy certifiably.
Copyright © Billy Thekidster | Year Posted 2010
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Billy Thekidster Poem
Let me begin by saying that I'm so very sorry
but if I don't kill you, you're going to kill me.
I wish there was another way but no other solution will come to me.
If I Don't Kill You, You're Going To Kill Me.
Through out great and joyous times as well as those of misery
you were never very far. You were always there for me.
Through out my years of tears and fears you were always there to comfort me,
but what else can I do? If I don't kill you you're definitely going to kill me.
If it helps I'll be merciful and kill you very quickly
despite the fact that you would act much less merciful than me.
I've known others who have grown close to you as you have grown close to me.
Many of them died slow lingering deaths. Many pleaded, "Pull the plug on me."
I haven't any reason to not believe that you will kill me any differently,
so you see there's only one thing left for me to do.
I must kill you before you get to kill me.
I've always seen you as a loyal friend until the reality occurred to me
that you're not my friend at all.
You're a parasite, and your host among many others also happens to be me.
You thrive and survive by destroying those who choose to welcome you into their lives.
Everyone you grow close to always gets short changed and tragically, most painfully dies.
You've taken loved ones from me and from others as well.
You've destroyed loving families making their lives a living hell.
You deceived all of us into believing that you could be a helpful friend.
You've taken so much from so many. This madness must now end.
I welcomed you into my life and that's something that I'll always regret.
WITH THESE WORDS I NOW KILL YOU:
"I've Smoked My Last Cigarette"
In Loving Memory
Of They You Took From Me.
First you smoke, then you choke
and then in time you will most probably have a stroke and
then after a few amputations,
and some major operations,
you will finally,
most painfully,
croak.
Need anymore reasons to stop? Here's some:
Go here to continue for You Don't Always Die From Tobacco
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zuh2w2sFRMI
Copyright © Billy Thekidster | Year Posted 2009
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Billy Thekidster Poem
A group of 15-year-old girlfriends
decided where to meet for dinner.
the Dairy Queen next to the Ocean View Restaurant,
because they had only $6.00 among them,
and a cute boy lived across the street named Jimmy Johnson.
10 years later, at their reunion,
the 25-year-old girlfriends decided where to meet for dinner again,
The Ocean View Restaurant because the drinks were cheap,
the band was good and the snacks were free,
there was no cover charge to get inside,
and the place was always packed with lots of cute guys.
The 35-year-old girlfriends at their reunion 10 years later
decided once again where to meet for dinner.
They agreed to meet at the Ocean View Restaurant
because the atmosphere was good and it was right near the gym,
and if they went late enough in the evening,
there wouldn't be too many whiny little kids to bug them.
At their reunion 10 years later, the 45-year-old girlfriends
decided to meet for dinner at the Ocean View Restaurant
because the martinis were big and the waiters were young.
10 years later, the 55-year-old girlfriends
decided to meet for dinner at the Ocean View Restaurant again,
because the prices were reasonable, the wine list was good,
and had windows that opened in case of a hot flashes,
as all good restaurants should.
10 years later, the group of 65-year-old girlfriends
decided to dine at the Ocean View Restaurant as well
because the lighting was good and had an early bird special.
10 years later at their reunion,
the group of 75-year-old girlfriends
met for dinner at the Ocean View Restaurant again,
because the food was not too spicy
and was handicapped-accessible for them.
10 years later, the group of 85-year-old girlfriends
met for dinner at the Ocean View Restaurant once more,
because none of them had ever been there before.
Copyright © Billy Thekidster | Year Posted 2015
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Billy Thekidster Poem
Nothing frustrates an internet troll more,
than to not get acknowledged, to be ignored.
Copyright © Billy Thekidster | Year Posted 2021
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Billy Thekidster Poem
You may think me mad for saying this, but I know this to be true for sure.
If we are truly to evolve into a higher specie, money must go the way of the dinosaur.
What should motivate us all is higher morality
and not the pursuit of gain monetarily,
which only serves to cultivate greed ultimately.
Greed then goes on to pursue power eventually,
and absolute power corrupts absolutely.
What's the solution? I don't know my friend truly,
but I believe that People Helping People is the key.
All People Helping People Universally
will be at the heart of our newly evolved spiritual currency.
Copyright © Billy Thekidster | Year Posted 2010
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Billy Thekidster Poem
Why do I feel dirty all day and all night?
I bathe everyday. I do everything hygenically right
and yet 24/7 I feel like I'm all covered with grime constantly.
There's something definetly wrong with my mind psychologically.
It's probably best for all concerned to stay the hell away from me.
I know what you're thinking. This is all about guilt obviously,
but I can't for the life of me think of anything that should make me feel guilty.
Do you think this has anything to do with me slamin P D?...(aka also me).
lol..lol...ha-ha, hee-hee! < That's me, aka also P D
laughing Our/My brains out insanely.
lol...lol...ha-ha, hee-hee!
Copyright © Billy Thekidster | Year Posted 2010
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Billy Thekidster Poem
First off Destroyer, you should thank me.
The fact that I've titled this in honor of you is going to bring you much notoriety,
not to mention your very much needed free publicity,
provided graciously for you in this Slam from Yours Truly.
Now, be a good little destroyer and listen to me.
Throw in the towel now. Surrender this contest.
You Have No Idea Who You Are Up Against.
I'll give you a hint destroyer: "I Am The Best!"
I Am Your Mentor and you, you are my better be grateful apprentice.
There's much I will teach you destroyer, being that I Am The Slamming Best!
So when you become big and famous make sure I get my share of the royalties
or I'll continue to SLAM you relentlessly.
Poet Destroyer, do you truly know what is your greatest fear?
I do. You fear that my relentless Slamming of you will never ever disappear
and I advise you wisely destroyer, That Is One True Likelihood To Fear.
Before I'm done with you, you'll be on your hands and knees
begging, "Please Kidster! Please! Stop SLAMMING me!"
Do you think that one day I'll lay off and stop slamming you?
Nothing could be further from the truth.
I've got tons and tons of precious free time
to make someone elses life MORE Miserable than is mine.
I'll SLAM you right into the middle of next week.
Hell, I'll SLAM you right into the oncoming years.
Before I'm through with you, you'll shed many, many tears.
I'll chew you up and spit you out like yesterday's phlegm
and before you revive I'll SLAM you again
and again, and again, and again my friend.
My relentless SLAMMING of you will never end.
I'll never SLAM dirty. If I did, This is what I might have said,
"The best part of you dripped down your mother's leg."
OUCH! I could never ever however say such a thing,
even when it comes to SLAMMING, I'm still a true gentleman,
and so I expect the same courtesy from you destroyer when your SLAMMING begins.
Your "Words" is what first attracted me to you.
I thought you were a bully. I've destroyed many of them too,
but I then came to realize that your just into some SLAMMING fun.
Well dear poet destroyer, Our SLAMMING has begun.
*
Tag! You're It!
*
Now do me proud my little poet destroyer friend
and SLAM me back with everything you've got.
I'll teach you well my little poet destroyer friend.
Only Because Of Me, Will You One Day Come To Be,
The One And Only True Slam Champion!
(that is, IF You Can Take It my little poet destroyer chicken).
Copyright © Billy Thekidster | Year Posted 2010
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