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Caitlyn Page Poem
You live in my head
Never paying a cent
I pray for the day you are evicted
And as much as I try to throw you out
You drowned me in your quicksand
Pulling me under
So I can’t breathe
Your way of reminding me
That as badly as I may want it
You’ll never leave
I squeeze my head with my hands
hard enough that I leave red marks on my skin
Trying to remember the day I ever let you in
But I never did
You forced your way in
You crushed my lungs
And twisted the wires of my brain
And changed the beat of my heart
To distract me from your scheme
To give yourself just enough time
To force yourself in
Like a predator stalking its prey
You created a trail to lure me in
That is what you are you know
A predator
Through the door and down the stairs
I didn’t realize it was too late
Until I saw no one else was there
You locked the door from the outside
And no matter how much I screamed
And how much I cried
Your cynical laugh haunted my ears
Scared my brain
And created my fears
And even when I sleep with the lamp on
The darkness is too potent for me to dream
Even with all the lights on
it's not bright enough to blind me from the memories that haunt my head
I am still one of your hostages even when I go to bed
And when I wake up in the morning
And when I brush my teeth
And when I drive my car
No matter how long I drive
Deep down I know you are never far
You will always be right around the corner
Down the stairs
And through the door
Living rent-free in my head
And I will always be stuck down there
Screaming for the glorious day
Someone tells me you are daed
Copyright © Caitlyn Page | Year Posted 2022
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Caitlyn Page Poem
The scariest moment is realizing you are losing yourself
When you can see the light leaving your own eyes
Feeling your breathing drag longer and longer, without a desire for oxygen
Your body gets heavier and more sluggish by the day
Like wearing cinderblocks as shoes on your feet, struggling to follow one after the other
Things that used to be motivating are an inconvenience
People who used to give you hope are looked at as better off without you
Those who you know, you wish could forget you
To make it easier on yourself and them, when you go
It becomes more of a dream than an idea
To grow wings full of white feathers
To see the light in your eyes again
To find a breath of air refreshing
To float like your body is weightless
And the chains that held you down were unshackled
To be able to be free without guilt
The things I would give to have that freedom
The things I would do to be found
Copyright © Caitlyn Page | Year Posted 2022
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Caitlyn Page Poem
resist the urge
fight the temptation
don’t be stopped by the strangulation of hesitation
or the unsteady foundation
which was built from your fears
time is of the essence
but don’t be anxious
you still have time to kill
the voices in your head are all liars
you just have to find the will
the will to get up
the will to fight back
even when your mind is under attack
they are a figment of your imagination
a cruel and contemptuous creation
conjured up by the frustration
of not being able to think clearly
making your mind delirious and dreary
there is only one opinion in your brain
even if sometimes you feel you're going insane
even if it feels like there is an elephant on your chest
just try and sneak in one little breath
if your hands are gripped so tightly on the rains
that you can see the bright blue color of your veins
and the whites of your knuckles
but you can’t gain control
find one thing to focus on
and don’t let it go
your mind may be moving fast but you can
train it to move slowly
take it day by day
repeat to yourself
*Just keep going*
and a word from the unlucky ones,
remember time will heal
fight the urge to act on impulse
decipher what is real
your mind can be a menace
you can’t control how you feel
just think before you do
you’re the one behind the wheel
Copyright © Caitlyn Page | Year Posted 2022
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Details |
Caitlyn Page Poem
I am in love with the one who walks as if the world he ventures is his to take
I am in love with the one who entangles me in his desires and wraps me in his warmth as If his arms were serpents
Who is driven by a force that comes from deep within him
Who loves with passion and takes no caution
The one who can sense my mood from a mile away
Who teases me like a childish game
But always manages to keep me held close
Unable to escape the grip of his intoxicating love
I am in love with a man who knows he will never be in love with me
But yet wants to so badly
The man who can give me everything I have ever wanted
But also take everything I have ever had
I am in love with the man who lights up any room he walks into
Who has eyes like rare Jules
And a smile that melts your heart
Though I have made the grave mistake of choosing him
For I have chosen a man who holds so much love
But whose biggest fear is to give it
So many who desire it
But no true intention to succumb to it
I am in love with the unlovable lover man
Copyright © Caitlyn Page | Year Posted 2022
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