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Crystal Lemouse Poem
I stand here again
At the edge of this step
And it feels like I am balancing on the edge
Without any sight to know if the next step exists.
I tire of this
It feels like a fog has settled
And I’ve become cold and numb
It takes so much strength to resist.
I don’t have foresight
This path in front of me is invisible
And the last step made me tumble
I’ve only begun to stand back up.
I can’t hear others
I know there exist those that offer support
But I can’t make them out over the noise
I need the noise in my own mind to quiet first.
I don’t trust myself
Without sight or sounds to have knowledge of that next step
I’ve become frozen with fear
So how can I possibly move forward?
I can feel him
I am no longer on this path alone
Even at moments like this, I can feel his love
And that reminder gives me the courage to step forward
Copyright © Crystal LeMouse | Year Posted 2022
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Details |
Crystal Lemouse Poem
There was a time, once long ago
When I was young, foolish, and too willing
That I admit, we were happy.
I ignored deeper issues in the hopes
That we could fix them together.
But those problems became weapons
And like daggers, you used them against me
I allowing you to do so
Until I used a broken shard of myself as a weapon
And plunged it deep into your heart, to escape.
I ran
I walked
I cried
I hurt
I healed
But of course, that’s not the end of the story
As you entered my life, time and time again
With tempting words of friendship
That was always too good to be true
I allowed you to try anyway.
Until the last trial
Where in my strength
I finally confronted you on your reasons
You finally admit that your heart was the true reason
As you chased the memory of who I used to be
We cried
We tried
We hurt
We loved
You left
Because who I am did not meet
Your illusion of what you see
Held high on a pedestal
So perfect and untouched
Too far to really see
So I am writing the ending to this story
I have closed the paths
I have changed the locks
I have burned the last broken bridge
I have closed the book on our story
I screamed
I cried
I hurt
I numbed
I froze
Even as you set sail once again
I sent one last message
A warning to confirm the end
That this book is finished
That there will be no more trials.
Because you see through an illusion
You can not realize
That is not an ocean you set sail on
But a mix of pain, blood, and tears
And it will drown any that get close
I swam
I feared
I struggled
I relaxed
I almost drowned
I no longer fear being alone
In loneliness, I can turn to myself
I can pick up the shards of myself
And repair them on my own
It will only take strength and time
I am returning to myself
I am exploring who I truly am
And who I can be
I spend time with myself
I love me
I repair
I smile
I laugh
I cry
I heal
Copyright © Crystal LeMouse | Year Posted 2021
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Details |
Crystal Lemouse Poem
Oh, I never thought I’d be here again
I spent so much time running, hiding, and avoiding
I always told myself the answer was no
I had given up the very idea
And told myself to be happy alone
Though sometimes emotions bubble up without control
And the only thing I can do is confess that they exist
So even though fear tried to hold me back
I stepped forward and took that leap
And suddenly found myself flying
The idea that I knew love before this moment is laughable
What I thought I understood is but one drop in a vast ocean
One that I get to explore with someone new
Someone that lifts me and takes this journey at my side
He sees me for who I am and loves me
Oh, I am overjoyed to be here
Loving truly for the first time
I love and he accepts and returns love
This love is so naturally different than my past
I have found my forever
Copyright © Crystal LeMouse | Year Posted 2021
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