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Catelyn Meeker Poem
The body electric; it moves about
On fire from a heart that has exploded.
Suspicion of me; eyes on me. I didn’t do it!
I merely sat idly by while they killed themselves
With drink.
I have a drink, and perhaps I shall
Have another, and the humanity of
The world will reflect in my glassy,
Blood-shot eyes.
I had a last hope but I gave it up,
And I am in pieces on the floor like
A mismatched puzzle; you can’t put
Me back together because none of
My pieces fit.
Whore, you dirty, exhausted mess; you are
Me in the mirror. That’s me, right? In this
Skin suit? In this foreign body?
The air is poisoned, and I can’t recognize
Anyone anymore. God has sent us plague
And fear of touch.
Diamond eyes, blue as the salt sea linger upon
My swollen flesh. Whose eyes? Lo! They
Are mine. They have always been mine!
I haven’t cried for you in a decade, but here
I am wearing your topaz ring,
And I can barely feel it there.
I am no prophet, yet I predict that I shall fail
At any sort of love other than yours.
I’m brave now because I took a pill, crushed
It between my fingertips and allowed the
Powder to travel through the cavity of which
My very breath emits.
My pupils are like the tips of a ballpoint pen,
My brain is swimming in luscious grandeur,
And it overwhelms me in a fantastic way.
Which one is the real me out of these
Two personas? Dry or full of the nectar
I’ve just consumed?
Whichever it is I am tired of me.
Scars, scars everywhere; so jagged
And never subjected to the fading
That stitches would’ve provided them.
I taped myself up like a doll that had
Been torn apart. I feared to remove the
Tape, lest I look upon the gaping wounds
And white muscle beneath.
Do not fear me. Beware.
Copyright © Catelyn Meeker | Year Posted 2020
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Catelyn Meeker Poem
Skin and bones
Skin and bones
Should I be skin and bones?
I am.
I am.
And flesh
This flesh is a prison.
Peel me, pluck out my
Black organs and satiate
This emptiness,
This devastation that engulfs me.
Thunder, rain, and now a flash of
Lightening illumines my mismatched
Figure that I hate.
Hate.
Tell me you mean well and
Perhaps I’ll rise from this
Darkness or perhaps I’ll
Descend further into the abyss
Because I don’t believe you.
Copyright © Catelyn Meeker | Year Posted 2022
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Catelyn Meeker Poem
All the men who took from me,
Who preyed upon my
Vulnerability,
Who stripped away my dignity,
I found them in their dreams and cut them
Down in the way they
Cut me.
I rise up in a fury breathing an angry,
Bright fire,
Shrieking like a banshee as the flames escape
My mouth.
I am the monster now.
Because no one ever
Bothers to learn the
Origins of villains, I won’t divulge the details of my own
History.
There isn’t time and
My heart is hungry
For revenge.
Copyright © Catelyn Meeker | Year Posted 2023
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Catelyn Meeker Poem
This is the era of echoes—
Echoes inside my hollow soul.
This is the time of broken hearts
And lost minds.
This could be a golden world—
Yet instead we are all grey.
A sign of the times—a war within our
Struggling hearts that pump crimson
Blood which shall ooze and trickle from
Our weary eyes.
You’ve left me alone in this necropolis—
And deep within my sepulcher my corpse
Strains to call out your name.
Copyright © Catelyn Meeker | Year Posted 2021
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Catelyn Meeker Poem
In simplest terms I am a nightmare.
Pray! O—do not let us fall asleep!
Stop—and witness me cut your ego
Down to the bone where I shall feast
Upon the blood of your conscience as a
Vampire would until there remains
Nothing but the raw opened flesh
Of your shattered soul.
I am the voice in your head—
And we shall remain savage and
As one entity which weighs heavy
On your mind and punctures your
Sanity.
O—my darling—how I do love you so.
Copyright © Catelyn Meeker | Year Posted 2021
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Catelyn Meeker Poem
You are pretentious; I
Am naive.
I don’t love you; I love
The idea of you that
Arrests my throbbing brain.
Abuser, cheater, liar, snake.
You are rotten from the inside
Out just like me.
I buried myself six feet into the
Dewy ground where worms crawl
Through the holes that once were
Eyes, and I bang, bang against the
Coffin because I forgot I’m
Still alive.
You albatross; you burden me
With your incessant photographs
Of your precious, evolved life.
It could have been my life too.
I don’t love you...yet I do.
Copyright © Catelyn Meeker | Year Posted 2020
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Catelyn Meeker Poem
Whirl me around in this time, this space
And promise me we’ll never leave this place.
Bonnie, it is true
I came for you
When the mania took me by surprise.
Fountain pen will write these words as my energy does rise.
Drum, drum of my heartbeat,
I can’t sit still upon this seat.
The poem’s jumbled, vision blurred.
I’d revise it if I could make out a word.
I want to drive with Humbert in a beaten up car
And go to places strange and far.
I’d let him do just as he pleased
But I don’t think his type is me.
I am cancer, I am death
Breathing in these hurried breaths
While I write hate notes and call it journaling
Because Bonnie’s really just a thing;
An object that I can put my pen to
And someday later bid adieu.
Stand near, save me, Bonnie, do
Because everyday I write in you.
But you’re so silent, what is this ink that’s spilled?
I’ll tear you up and have you killed!
Copyright © Catelyn Meeker | Year Posted 2020
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Catelyn Meeker Poem
On a sleepless night you spoke
To me, and I wasn’t wearing your topaz ring
Anymore, anymore.
It was on the tip of my tongue; I loved
You once but
No more, no more.
Eyes like ocean mists and chestnut locks,
Almost a decade since I’ve touched your
Ivory skin so say cruel clocks.
Tears tasting like salt in a sea of regret
Splashing against a distant shore.
Once you stood there waiting but
No more, no more.
Copyright © Catelyn Meeker | Year Posted 2020
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Catelyn Meeker Poem
I must find control.
I must survive;
Surface.
I must defeat this demon,
I must see through the darkness
And find the sunlight.
Surface.
I must not die.
Not yet.
Could you be a little kinder?
Take me in your arms and
Tell me I’m just fine.
Tell me this won’t last forever
And ever.
Surface.
Now raise your hands
And dance in the bloody
Rain.
Surface.
Copyright © Catelyn Meeker | Year Posted 2022
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Catelyn Meeker Poem
I breathe fire.
I'll turn you to stone with my stare,
And I'll collect you like
I've collected the others.
Line you up among the rest
Like a toy soldier just
To knock you down,
Repeat.
My thoughts are loud,
My brain is aflame.
I can't speak without regurgitating,
I can't breathe without first feeling
The palpitations of my weak heart.
I am a prisoner inside a skin I do not
Recognize.
Here are my eyes, blue and cloudy
And reddened with broken vessels.
Here are my hands, knuckles bruised,
Cuticles cracked and dry.
Here is my hair, balding,
Pulled out.
And there is someone in the mirror,
Someone I used to know.
Copyright © Catelyn Meeker | Year Posted 2022
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