Details |
Barbi Marian Poem
Thank you because you make me happy
Thank you because you accept me
But darling, I need to stop liking you
Because even though you are my happiness, you are my downfall.
What happened today was the last straw
I thought you’ll come with me but you said “No”
I really thought we were now in sync
But I was the only one thinking both of us will stick.
It hurts having to come up with this decision
But I’ve been so blind all along
There are signs but I chose to choose you
However, it pains me so bad that I need to let you go
I’ll let destiny carry what I’m feeling
If we were meant to be, it’ll be.
Copyright © Barbi Marian | Year Posted 2020
|
Details |
Barbi Marian Poem
I know this should be the time to be jolly
But why do i feel this way?
Why do I feel that there’s a void inside
That needs to be filled, needs to be seen
I feel alone and I don’t feel that it is a holiday
Holiday should be filled with laughter and love
But why do I have this melancholy heart
I can’t feel the excitement this Christmas
Some say I’m too depressed to not feel this Yuletide
But what can I do? This is how I feel
No matter how much positive thought I can think
All I can see and I will remember is this December melancholy
Copyright © Barbi Marian | Year Posted 2019
|
Details |
Barbi Marian Poem
I always feel like this
This is what I feel: hurt, unwanted and unloved
How can I survive every day if you make me feel this way?
So I think it’s time, maybe it’s time
Let me stop this overflowing feelings
It makes me a bad - sad person
How can love affect me so much?
When all I’ve done is wait for you to ask
I always imagine things
I want us to collect moments
I don’t know if you’re just suppressing what you feel
But maybe if you can tell me, I guess we can talk about it
Sometimes I feel that you still love me, sometimes you don’t want me
I gotta stop this
I’m tired of all the lost hope, of the heartache and most of all the way you treat me
Copyright © Barbi Marian | Year Posted 2019
|
Details |
Barbi Marian Poem
Sometimes I wonder if someone loves me
Loves me the way I am
Accepts my flaws and everything
Will there be someone who’s gonna love me?
This thought sometimes drowns me
I may have a strong personality
But believe me, I’m soft deep inside
So I wonder, is there someone who loves me?
I wonder how it feels if someone cares for you
The feeling that they wanna check on you
The happiness that I’ll feel if we hold hands
The sensation that I’ll taste when we kiss
I wonder when will be that time
The time that someone will care for me
Someone who I’ll be with forever
Someone that I can annoy but still love at the same time
Copyright © Barbi Marian | Year Posted 2019
|
Details |
Barbi Marian Poem
Too Much
Sometimes I can feel that you had enough
I can feel that something has changed
I can feel that you’re tired with me
I am sorry if I am too clingy
I am sorry if I want you
I am sorry if I need you
I am sorry for being me.
Copyright © Barbi Marian | Year Posted 2022
|
Details |
Barbi Marian Poem
Here I am lying on bed, overthinking
Listening to sad music, hearing all the lyrics
Choosing which one explains better what I feel
I’m replaying what happened on that day
Why can’t you say the magic word?
Is there a reason why you can’t say it?
Have I been lying to myself that everything will be okay?
I’m waiting for you to utter those words
7 letters 2 words
That’s all I ask and everything will be forgiven
I’m having thoughts that maybe deep inside you hate me
You’re the only one who can save me from this sea of thoughts
Copyright © Barbi Marian | Year Posted 2020
|
Details |
Barbi Marian Poem
16.02.22
I am ready to love you
But sadly you aren’t ready yet
It hurts me every time I think of you
Oh damn, why did I fall for you?
I am tired of everything when it comes to love
Everything is the same
It’s either they want something from me or
They’re not ready to fall in love with me.
I question myself: What did I do to deserve this?
Am I that person who’s only until the „Getting to know you“ stage?
I want to be loved, I want to be appreciated, I want to be leaned on to and most of all, I want to be needed.
Copyright © Barbi Marian | Year Posted 2022
|
Details |
Barbi Marian Poem
I’m with my friends
But I’m not really with them
My mind is busy. Busy overthinking
It’s slowly drowning me
It’s hard to pretend
Pretending to be happy
Pretending to be okay
I’m drowning and I can’t breath
It’s killing me by slowly drowning me
I don’t know when this will stop
I want to end this
How? It’s always my question
Copyright © Barbi Marian | Year Posted 2019
|
Details |
Barbi Marian Poem
An Open Letter For You
I loved you the way I know how to love someone. Yes, I’ve had my faults in the relationship but you know why I overthink a lot? It’s because you did not give me enough assurances. You know that I overthink a lot and I should not tell you what to do because I know you know what to do. I’ve never thought that I will hear bodyshaming from you because I thought you like my body the way it is. Hearing that from you made me realize if all those words that you like my body the way it is or that my body is sexy the way it is are true. I don’t think I can or I will be ever forgive you for what you’ve said to me. I love you but I cannot forgive you.
I saw a video where it says:
A man can change for the woman who they think is the „one“ for them.
A man will do everything above and beyond to make their woman happy
There are no distance that they cannot travel for the woman that they love
They will do everything to make you happy
Hearing those things made me remember our entire relationship and I immediately think, you never did those things. Realizing it hurt me, it made me sad, it made me cry because I realized and maybe I think that maybe you were not the one for me or maybe we are not really meant for each other. I was so sure that you’ll be the guy who I’ll marry and grow old with. I am remembering the imagination that I had that I will take care of you when we get old, I remember the part where we will have half Filipino — half German babies. I still remember every memories that we had and to tell you the truth, I want them gone, I don’t want to remember you anymore, I don’t think about you anymore, I don’t want to feel anything for you anymore.
Every minute of every hour of every day, you’re always in my mind. I am asking the wind how are you and what you are doing. I’m asking the universe if you still think about me but then there’s this always tiny voice inside me that says „No“ he’s not thinking about you, he had moved on and he didn’t love you.
I always loved you even when I was questioning my own worth when we in a relationship. I always loved you even though you were questioning my intentions for you. I always loved you even when you disrespected in a manner that I didn’t understand at that time. I loved you and accepted you at worst. I loved you just the way you are. I loved you. I gave you my everything, I gave you my heart, I gave you the love that I wasn’t able to give myself.
Copyright © Barbi Marian | Year Posted 2023
|
Details |
Barbi Marian Poem
You came and I fell after a long while
I know you love me
But can you please make more effort?
I don’t want to assume
I wish what you have for me is still right
We go out, clicked with a few things
Talk about random stuffs
I can feel that
But please can you put more action?
I don’t want to wait forever
Give me a sign for me not to waver
You make me crazy
So be a man and sweep me off my feet
Copyright © Barbi Marian | Year Posted 2019
|