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Alex Mmm Poem
The monster beckons
And you come to meet this new friend.
Fear entices you
And you go, led by its sweet poison.
Loneliness wraps around you
And you feel warm in its presence.
Pain sears through your heart
And your soul asks for more.
Then hope tries to break your defences
But you shut it down without blinking.
Happiness timidly crawls into your life
But you chase it away and turn off the light.
Darkness veils your universe
And you sit on the floor, cry, and give in.
You are now an empty vessel
And you thrive in your misery.
The monster beckons
And you welcome this old friend.
Copyright © Alex Mmm | Year Posted 2018
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Alex Mmm Poem
I know it's over before we start talking.
I feel the cold on my skin because you don't touch me anymore.
I taste the blood in my mouth because you don't kiss me anymore.
I stare at the ceiling and stay awake because you don't have your arms around me anymore.
You finally tell me you're broken
But all I see is a cold, glassy stare
You tell me you care
But then you push me out the door
You say you want to be honest
But all I hear is a tale as old as time
And with each word another piece of me breaks
With each breath, another sliver of my soul withers
With each embrace, another part of my body starts to shiver.
I keep blaming myself for your behaviour
But then I realize it's just that - 'yours'
I am still 'me' and 'I' can be whole again
'I' can fall apart but 'I' can get back up too
'I' can cry but 'I' can smile too
'I' will change and flourish, become better, but you... you will never have me again - for that, you are indeed broken.
Copyright © Alex Mmm | Year Posted 2019
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Alex Mmm Poem
The pain my mind throws over me is visceral
I can feel it deep within my bones, my soul, my very existence
It's screaming to get out and it burns my throat without end
It envelops my brain without resolution
It digs into my memories and brings out all my shame, humiliation, and heartbreak
It takes everything in me not to shout out loud, not to scrape the pain away, not to give in to it.
I see my reflection in the mirror, tears streaking my face, and I flinch away
I follow people's reaction to me and a shred of me dies every time
I refuse to find sleep and make it all go quiet, even if only for a few hours
And sleep evades me as I lie in bed, unable to respond to the pain that drowns me second by second.
I wonder if I'll ever heal or if I'll just wither away, consumed by the hurt that travels through my body and makes me numb.
I wonder if I'll ever be myself again
I wonder if I'll ever trust again
I wonder if I'll ever live again
I just wonder.
Copyright © Alex Mmm | Year Posted 2025
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Alex Mmm Poem
Hope is a complex emotion
There is such a thing as too much hope
Which drowns you in unrealistic dreams
Fed by the unfulfilled imaginations of your heart.
It lifts you up, but the fall is that much worse.
It sets your soul on fire, but it only leaves ashes behind.
You hope too much and your body starts devouring itself from the inside out, leaving a skeleton of desires and broken promises behind.
But you need hope to live, to put one foot in front of the other, to feel the love and the pain, to anchor your existence to this planet, grow old and turn to dust.
You need hope to free your soul and let it wander in the unknown when you cease to be.
Hope is what you're always looking for and narrowly miss on.
Hope is for everyone else, but you.
Hope is an illusion, which you need to let go.
Hope dies when it meets you so don't let it come too close.
Copyright © Alex Mmm | Year Posted 2025
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Alex Mmm Poem
I blink once, twice, three times
Trying to keep my tears at bay
Because every time you talk to me
You ignore me in every way.
I try to give myself to you
And open up my heart
But all I seem to get in return
Is just a few inconsiderate words on your part.
I wish I could tell you how much that hurts
The visceral pain that reminds me of how I've been treated before
I tell myself that my worth is not something you decide
That I have to fight for defending what's mine
But a sentence from you and I feel access is denied
To any dignity I had left and the values I mind.
I crave your attention, I want you to see me
From the tip of my nose to the depths of my burdened soul
But all you give back to me is traces of care
And, in all honesty, barely any affection at all.
I'm a hopeless romantic and maybe that's wrong
They say reality is different and it's a lot of hard work
Something I want to do, but not on my own, and not struggle for this long.
I need you to show me that you actually listen
That you see past the awkwardness, the anxiety, and the occasional wall
That you like talking to me, and it's not just politeness
That you see me as your equal, not only appreciate my kindness.
I want you to be my person and the world can disappear for all I care
But I need you to truly see me and accept every part I choose to bare.
Copyright © Alex Mmm | Year Posted 2026
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