2
Always the hint of hurt is the words I say
Sadly I don't know what else can now be
I began with only one message to convey
Lost, hurt, unable to control pain as I lay
A great journey began, but I'm lost at sea
Always the hint of hurt in the words I say
Looking for happiness I continue to stray
Never finding what will finally set me free
I began with only one message to convey
My words deceiving, to and fro they sway
Truly this is not who I am, not the real me
Always the hint of hurt in the words I say
Some seem to think it's a game that I play
As if causing pain is what will give me glee
I began with only one message to convey
I tried to hide, find my peace, see my way
The path was too convoluted for me to see
Always the hint of hurt in the words I say
I began with only one message to convey
3
Love on my tongue the words now at the tip
Second thoughts and doubts kept me quiet
Chance never waits, away time does slip
Memories and dreams make the heart skip
A dead dream dominates my day and night
Love on my tongue the words now at the tip
I start to enter in a final plea but bite my lip
Holding some gratitude, and also some spite
Chance never waits, and away time does slip
It has been a long quest and a very sad trip
Depression comes through erasing the light
Love on my tongue the words now at the tip
Something inside continues to tear and to rip
Telling me that this just can't possibly be right
Chance never waits, and away time does slip
Seeing no future, how can one begin to equip
Not knowing for what, or for whom, to now fight
Love on my tongue the words now at the tip
Chance never waits, and away time does slip
4
We started close but have grown a stray
You're facing something extremely sad
We're moving apart, but I'm not far away
You are in my thoughts every single day
For not knowing your situation I feel bad
We started close but have grown a stray
To reconcile our indifference I seek a way
This is the first step I take on pen and pad
We're moving apart, but I'm never far away
In depression and sorrow I continue to lay
Abandoning the former rapport we once had
We started close but have grown a stray
The communication we have is often gray
I truly hope my words don't make you mad
We're moving apart, but I'm never far away
I am getting focused now and won't delay
To know you better would make me glad
We started close but have grown a stray
We're moving apart, but I'm not far away
5
Maybe it's much too little much too late
As I try to rectify mistake after mistake
What was shared, I greatly appreciate
Too many times I leave things with fate
Sleeping when I know I should be awake
Maybe it's much too little much too late
A zombie existence my current state
Existing in life, but not able to partake
What was shared, I greatly appreciate
Do we have a chance to clean our slate
If at all possible every effort I will make
Maybe it's much too little much too late
I will be whole, but do not know the date
The lost sea shrinking now's only a lake
What was shared, I greatly appreciate
To my words I hope that you can relate
There are some things I won't forsake
Maybe it's much too little much too late
What was shared, I greatly appreciate
6
I have searched constantly, no one there
Loneliness accompanies me in this quest
So much left undone, so much left to share
If this is a race, I'm the tortoise, life the hare
Sadly passes and renders test after test
I have searched constantly, no one there
To make myself a victim, I will not dare
I surely have blame, you know this best
So much left undone, so much left to share
Lately I don't even have my time to spare
Misery loves company, but I have no guest
I have searched constantly, no one there
Uncertain of anything, into the past I stare
Knowing what I sacrificed leaves no rest
So much left undone, so much left to share
I have put forth everything, laid myself bare
Wanting you to understand, I became a pest
I have searched constantly, no one there
So much left undone, so much left to share
7
Finally stopping to catch my breath I am lost now
Knowing where I failed, my very worst decision
Not even recognizing myself, nor the why or how
What good is the field if the farmer cannot plow
Just getting by day after day without any vision
Finally stopping to catch my breath I'm lost now
Nothing inspires, nothing causes that internal wow
Something beautiful ultimately ended in sad division
Not even recognizing myself, nor the why or how
Towards nothingness I move, nothing more to avow
My very own existence has become my dark prison
Finally stopping to catch my breath I am lost now
No sweet nothings whispered, goodbye or ciao
One unseen moment that ended in silent derision
Not even recognizing myself, nor the why or how
The curtain is closing and I will give one final bow
A crash course was set, but there was no collision
Finally stopping to catch my breath I am lost now
Not even recognizing myself, nor the why or how
8
Who can even understand these words of insanity
I write with the feeling I'm the only one who will care
Considerations not made in selfishness or vanity
I look for some hope, but there is nothing left to see
No more special moments will we be able to share
Who can even understand these words of insanity
I search for any type of sign, but all I found was me
Alone with this tremendous burden I have to bear
Considerations not made in selfishness or vanity
Sadly I'm usually the one causing all this calamity
Forgetting to tell myself at the time I should beware
Who can even understand these words of insanity
The high tide pushes on, a vast sea of humanity
Yet I remain unable to move, stranded in nowhere
Considerations not made in selfishness or vanity
Having happiness doesn't always mean being free
To the normal train of thought, I will never compare
Who can even understand these words of insanity
Considerations not made in selfishness or vanity
9
How can tomorrow come if yesterday never dies
The only future I vision, is always tied to the past
All this happened for a reason is one of many lies
That may sound crazy, but I know what it implies
There's no reason in this, opportunities were vast
How can tomorrow come if yesterday never dies
In the pain, suffering and loneliness, I became wise
Understanding there's a love that will always last
All this happened for a reason is one of many lies
So many chances to right the wrong, many tries
But the pain and the distance we couldn't outlast
How can tomorrow come if yesterday never dies
I can hardly even recognize you in your disguise
The show continues, but I'm no longer in the cast
All this happened for a reason is one of many lies
We continue on ignoring our very own soul’s cries
What the future holds for us now I've often asked
How can tomorrow come if yesterday never dies
All this happened for a reason is one of many lies
10
To move forward what would that possibly entail
An idea so strange, that I cannot even conceive
Knowing that I'm lost, still enchanted by your spell
You should consider all this, and consider it well
Maybe one day you'll wake up seeking a reprieve
To move forward what would that possibly entail
In good responsible decisions I hardly ever excel
If I tell you everything once more, will you believe
Knowing that I’m lost, still enchanted by your spell
Somehow I always find a way to make myself fail
Many times it is my very own soul that I deceive
To move forward what would that possibly entail
Without a map leading me, how can I ever set sail
Seeking meaning, but never finding what will relieve
Knowing that I’m lost, still enchanted by your spell
The memories are always a sad never ending tale
For a chance to re-enter life, nothing would I leave
To move forward what would that possible entail
Knowing that I’m lost, still enchanted by your spell
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