Short Perv Poems

God.
How I love writing
It teeters on frightening
Drawn in by the lightening
By one all encompassing word
Wrapped in verve
A wordsmiths perv...

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There once was an old man, a perv.
And wow! He had quite the nerve.
He pulled down his pants,
Said "Watch my demon dance."
He really threw me a curve....

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I first learned to dance when I was four
But my kids won't let me do it no more
They say I look like a perv
The way I wiggle a swerve
They say I even embarrass the floor...

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Once lived a Montgomery La Verve
He met his end on a winding curve
He was driving too fast,
With his hand in his lap
The rumor was that he was a perv.

Written March 17, 2022
[His epitaph simply reads:
Montgomery La Verve (1950-1995)]...

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There once was a president called Donald.
Who had more money than Ronald McDonald
An old perv with the lasses  
who hoodwinked the masses 
I cant believe america swallowed his waffle.




Inspired by the queen of the limericks Jan 
http://www.poetrysoup.com/poem/theres_an_old_fart_in_the_white_house_867717...

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In response to 'paint me a rainbow' by nicola byrne 

Golden eye and crescent nerve.
The rainbow hides, he doesn't like 
to be disturbed.
He's actually a bit perturbed.
The people gaping from behind
and every angle wide.
You have to pay for pictures blue
and colours frosted in the nude.
The rainbow waits in turn for you
to show him curves for him to perv....

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“Im no perv
Im not nasty in the head
I just love your curves
And your lip’s sexy red”

>>Laughter!

“Your hair is sooo..
Bright
It smells sooo..
Nice.”


>>Barf


“Do you want milk 
On Your tea?”
5 Milli-Seconds Later:
“Um would you like milk..
On your tea?”


>>Alright!


“I really had a good time-
O wait”
>>O brother..<<
“Its ..Its my mother..”



>>Cough....

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It always happens when you walk on by
but also when I catch your eye
that unmistakable feeling
of pressure behind my fly
I'm not a slob or even a perv
but you bending over really extends my nerve
It reminds me of your sexy shape
or the shutter I feel when I kiss your nape
which, of course, then stretches the coiled tape
you know I will forever be your guy
too many to mention the reasons why
of how you satisfy what's behind the fly...

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They be thinking you’re a prospect
A proverbial perv ready to pounce.
Assuming they can guess your character
By the countless tales of counterfeit.

However, unbeknownst to the unbewildered,
You’re a damn unicorn who needn’t be judged or undermined.

You’re more than the words of a phallacy..
Whoops I believe I meant fallacy.
See! There you go again!
So I guess the rumors were true,
And I guess since I wrote it…it must be real too....

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