Long Zeke Poems

Rassaphrass’s husband LeRoy went out for garlic bread on a Tuesday.  She ate all the spaghetti and meatballs before he returned, to teach him a lesson, because he took too long.  He brought...

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Thomas was walking through his favorite part of the forest,
where the overturned giant oak tree has been a sitting spot
for him since childhood, the part of the forest that is lit
a little bit thanks to...

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Not every woman’s dream 
 	of procreation 

can be fulfilled;

not every woman dreams
	of procreation, 

her body thrilled.

But loved and lovers’ inclinations – 
	recreation
not 	re-creation – 
cannot, will not be stilled.

until

one day

intervention
bypassed her – 

she –...

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Once upon a mountaintop a she-monster named Mazy 
was searching for a man.  
She wanted a young, honest alien man. Not a nutty old 
tooth-jagged Monster like Bill or Dan.
We were horrified. Inner-galaxy dating...

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I promised Milt I'd tell him a tale
Turn on a little Hillbilly music OK
I was about  the age of six or seven and bootleggin was a real bad habit.
Or so I heard

We had one...

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Sitting 'neath an apple tree
In Edmond, Oklahoma
Thinking of the days gone by
And drinking my Corona

Body beat all black and blue
I've had less ups than I've downs
I guess that's just all that I get
As an old...

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"In this place you will not find God and Jesus will not save,
It's the hotel for the fools and ghouls who went too far in their day.

Mack sits in the flames his feelings have all...

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Relative time from departure body --
Thus, from Earth we hail.
Sailing to Wolf at light-speed tardy,
Cryonic-dreams of Dale.
Awakened, rudely, at a mere eleven:
A technical glitch, a fail.

Three years to seven, it's never exact,
The crew all burnt...

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They planted Hank 'neath a lonesome pine when he came to the end of the trail.
Angels ushered him to the Great Beyond and through that Mysterious Veil.
Saint Peter greeted him, sayin', "I've been a-hankerin' to...

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The 7 wonders of the world 
Is quite a sight to see
But it don't compare to what we have
In the hills of Tennessee

Uncle Zebs cow is a big ole thing
Quite a sight to behold
That cow's...

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I have had my bourbon, and I have to admit
I feel feathery fine, refreshed, amazingly fit!
I am ready to tell you a story that will knock you out
Come sit closer, and I will share what...

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Mr. Cheetah’s wife was yelling “Give him a ticket! Give him a ticket!”
He outraced two pickup trucks and an antelope down in the thicket.
The highway patrolman was on the chase immediately, ready to write.
Hurry! electronic...

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Disarray? Me? My house? My family?
Thank you! Yes, we certainly have earned the title, the crown and the sash.
You apparently were let in by one of the carpet chewers? 
The watch dog is pretty much...

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There was a brownie name of Zeke
Who lived big and large beside a creek
Rumors said he was a lecherous freak
They came quickly, more like a flow than a leak.

The truth I steadily decided to try...

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Through my Magic Window 
I see the cowboys on the hill
Trying to convince the cattle 
That they have had their fill

"Jist goes ahead un snuff nu blow 
Cause ut er a thousan' miles ta go
Bafor...

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Granpa, when you was a kid
Did you thinks a running away from home
And look un see what's over that hill
Roundup wild horses
An bucks um out jist for a thrill?

How did you comes to get clear...

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When night came, the cattle bedded down 
And the night riders making their rounds
Samuel would take a strole to the chuck wagon 
And Cookie would hand him his cup of coffee

As he savored it's taste
He'd...

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When a Hell’s Angel Gets Old

By Elton Camp

Zeke joined the gang when eighteen
Roaring down the road was so keen

A Harley was the only thing he’d ride
And sneered if a family sedan he spied

“A motorcycle I’ll...

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Adam Actually Aced An Awesome Adventure
Bradley Boldly Baked Bad Beef
Christopher Canned Cut Cold Cuts
David Dunked Darla Dimple
Evan Ecstatically Escaped Every Eagle
Franklin Flipped Fat Franks
Gary Gerrickson Gave Gary Ginton Good Gooey Guavas
Harriet Had Hot Ham
Impish Idiot...

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A terrifying sheeted ghost came by and we pretended to be scared.
It was probably Wilbur, and he liked to think that we cared.
Next was a headless kid carrying a bloody head.
That’s got to be Zeke,...

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Public transpo buses are a poor man's taxicab,
but you can't hail a ride when you need one
You must sit and wait on a wooden street slab
Buses are municipal elephants
that move on asphalt trails
If one arrives...

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My muse went on vacation to the Eiffel Tower and more.
My private detectives snapped her photo in a Bolivia convenience store.
She travelled by alligator, flea, train, jet, and finally mountain goat.
I tried to catch up,...

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Zeke and His Old Lady Ride Again

By Elton Camp

Men trembled when Zeke appeared
In his black leather jacket and beard

When he and his gang rode into town,
Why, even the sheriff would back down

His defiant look and...

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"Ain't got no prairie fire worries," 
Bob says to Little Zeke
"Lessen we gits some whar with grass"
And he kicked his horse in the ribs as they entered the pass

A week later they found grass
The cattle...

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Snip-snaw lambasted me today.
Misunderstood initially,
Practically undiscovered 
Until I remembered the stories of 
Some others.

Zeke and Sam’s horrible, vivid scary
Stories of unkind deeds the snip-snaw had
Caused them to do, against their 
Best judgement, immobilized me
To my...

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