Long Upliftingdog Poems

Good Times

When I didn't qualify for the football team, my Mom said to me in front of all the players,
"Flushing HS has just lost a quarterback, but our family has gained a daughter."
Good Times
Once my Dad returned home from a night on the town so drunk he could barely blink.
"Is there anything on earth," my mother asked him, "that you will not drink?"
"Yes there is," he replied with his breath stinking of brew,
"It's called poison my dear, but I'm saving it for you."
Good Times
In the middle of class I was approached by a bully.
He said, "I like your pants. Give them to me."
I always chuckle at that memory very fondly,
walking home in my gym shorts with temperatures in the 30's.
Ah, Good Times
 "Does your dog bite?" I asked the sweet old man.
He answered "No" but when I pet the dog it bit my hand.
"You told me that your dog doesn't bite," I said wrapping my bloody wound with cloth.
 We both laughed when he replied, "This isn't my dog."
Ah yes, Good Times.