I love you like a four-year-old
loves playing Hunt the Thimble:
I want you like Inspector Gerard
wants cuffs on Richard Kimble.
As Mork has eyes for Mindy, I
am crazy, too - no, loonier!
But, to ensnare you, I'll do "square",
like Efrem Zimbalist Junior.
As Elly May loves critters, and
young Jethro worships Jed,
I tell the world that you're my girl,
verbose as Mister Ed.
I seal each letter with a kiss,
just like I'm Brian Hyland:
immaculate in every way,
immune from dirt, or tooth decay,
you've never known a Bad Hair Day,
like the girls on Gilligan's Island
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